Dew Me Baby One More Time

April 25, 2008 21:26

<font>Well, wasn’t that an exciting end to the Providence Island Affair?  My best buddy Nathan Dayspring Askani’son Summers aka Soldier/Savior aka G I Jesus and I patched (and extinguished) our burning bridges just in time for a climactic run versus Sabertooth, Gambit, and Sunfire.  After Nate punched Vickie Creed into the ocean for a much needed bath he sent me to his apartment for a backup copy of the all-important archives Providence contained about the future.  Trusting in me to not give into the temptation and gaze into the murky waters of the future seeking the ultimate answers to life questions:  Will the Cubs ever win the World Series?  Will gas prices ever drop low enough to make driving possible again?  And just who in the Marvel Universe is really a Skrull?  (Could it be me?)
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<font>So, of course, it turns out my best bud and sometimes best butthole tricked me into going after a false objective.  The all-important data turned out to be just a backup teleport matrix that whisked me to safety just before the whole island went Alderaan on me.  Turns out Cable was enough of a good guy/Jesus wannabe to save even a putz like me.  
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<font>Since the idiot playing me in this fun new campaign hasn’t read the latest graphic novel, I find myself yanked from the precious and always easy to understand Marvel Timeline (Is Jean Grey alive/dead/good/evil/a mutant/a bunny?)  and into an alternate reality where I’m forced to battle threats to it’s very existence conjured up by a guy gullible enough to let the whole thing happen in the first place.  
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<font>What insane allies will I find to aid me in such a bleak, desolate world?  What madcap foes will I be forced to reduce to kibble-sized bits?  Who the hell drank all of my Dew?
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<font>While I ponder the answer to these and other great questions, I make a trip to the new super-duper-colossal-really-reasonable retail emporium that just opened nearby.  Hopefully, I won’t get lost within its labyrinthine aisles of discount deals.  And hopefully they’ve got Dew on sale.  </font>

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