Day 1 Today I begin my spirit journal. As the code laid down by my great grandfather Methuselah dictates, when a member of the communion leaves the moral safety of its kinship, he or she must create the church within themselves. I must remind myself not only to record my thoughts, but to critique them; to judge my own transgressions just as I would judge the actions of a friend and provide the appropriate counsel upon reflection. I have an important reputation to uphold. If I am to die on this quest, I must leave for the finder of my journal the inspirational philosophy of my people. Perhaps, gods willing, this journey will be an opportunity to spread the great message of our people to other lands.
Day 2 The son of Simmelroth is nice. He’s a bit brutish and horrifying, but I would love to learn more about the son of our maker. I look forward to seeing if he will extend the same kind of mercy and thoughtfulness that we encourage in our communion. However, he is not quite on the same level as us, so I would understand if he decided that mortals are beneath him. I hope not though. It would be nice to have someone that I can talk to about the communion. I think the wild one may kill me. She shot her friend in the face for annoying her. This might be the last night I spend close to home and my mother has seen me off by screaming at me and locking the door to seal my fate. I will miss the communion, but she has always been a poor example, despite my respect for her. I hope the communion will help her with my sister for both of their sakes.
Day 3 My pride… it causes things… terrible things. I’m so afraid for my sister, who has no shame for her pride. And so young! What can I do so far from home? I was probably her last hope for enlightenment. If my small pride can cause pools of fire, what will she be capable of one day? I can’t let her become like me, but she is so far beyond where I was at her age. She has refused to hide her powers. She has a small following? What can I do…
Day 4 A nice young man on the road gave me a flower today. It felt nice to be appreciated and I think he might have known that he flattered me because his face looked horrified and disgusted. I know that it is generally unattractive for a person to be out of control and flattered. I felt a bit embarrassed. Of course, it probably also had something to do with the wild companion behind me shot a boy for trying to steal her coins, but I didn’t notice it at the time. I was too busy apologizing to the boy, who was clearly creeped out by my inappropriate reaction. I was glad that V’satia had the healing bow out this time.
Day 5 Fire! Why are my spells causing fire? They are getting so out of control. At first I thought it was because I was proud of my work. I spent days after those poor tigers suppressing my base desires and purging myself from unrighteous thoughts, but it happened again. This time to little men! I can’t do it. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t become a killer like V’satia. Dead things just smell so bad. I don’t know why she likes making them dead.
Day 6 I had a stirring last night. In my dreams, I had become V’satia and I was shooting a helpless little ugly man on the ground. He screamed and screamed and… I liked it. WHY did I like it? I wanted to shoot him again. I woke up in tears and ran to the campfire to prepare the cleansing ritual. I sat by the campfire covered in ash for two days. By the third morning V’satia threatened to kill me for the sixth time and Thorion started packing up to leave. I don’t know why they couldn’t just let me finish another half day. I really don’t want her to shoot me again though.
Day 7 I had a WONDERFUL time at the Tavern! I’m not sure why the communion calls it a place of sin. It is the only place I’ve seen so far where there a group of people can be that nobody wants to kill anything. I must tell the Communion all about it when I get home! Maybe they were mistaken about houses of indulgence! Anyway, everyone was SO NICE to me! I must have talked to a dozen young men about the communion! Father Mattimeo would be so proud of my missionary work to the poor men deceived by the evil juice. One man was very interested. I talked to him for a whole hour about my home and our customs and even invited him to come along with me after we kill the tigers and save my father! We may have a new communion member! At that point, unfortunately, he said he heard his horse whinnying outside and went to check. I wanted to come help, but he was so sweet. He said it might be dangerous and that I should just wait there. I hope his horse was ok. He never did manage to come back.
Even V’satia seemed to lighten up. I was concerned for a moment because a man came to talk to her and I thought she would kill him for spilling evil juice on her, but as it turns out I didn’t need to use my spell to protect him. She popped right upstairs and did the naughty business with him. Now don’t get me wrong, coitus is still a very irresponsible and dangerous activity out of commitment, but I was glad to see that his throat was still intact after they romped in the hay for a bit, so that’s good. Maybe there’s hope for her after all.
Slept well tonight for the first time in a week in a real bed!
Day 8 LOTS of stuff happened today! So tired… too tired to write it all, I think. On the plus side, I know where I’m going now to find my father so maybe V’satia won’t kill me. Long story short: had a vision, met a nice mentally unstable lady who gave me cookies (real home foodstuffs!), and probably set a room on fire. Somehow I got knocked down some stairs by a bookshelf and when I woke up I was standing the middle of a room full of fire. I’m not sure if I blacked out or if I just don’t remember walking up the stairs. Not sure I want to know… still, cookies!