Your first sneer of menace will bring down a spell of great distress.
I learn from a multitude of sources. I cannot annotate or codify each iota of information which comes my way.
One cannot judge important matters on the basis of porridge bowls.
I am never irrelevant, nor yet trivial.
A variety of deaths by contrasting processes may well enter into your punishment.
Another goblet, if you please… and the decanter.
As a traveler from afar, ignorant of your customs, I thought it best to watch quietly a few moments, lest I in error commit a solecism.
Bah. The concept is jejune.
By no means! Rather fear for your own sodden vitality, which goes on in even greater peril!
Come, come! You make a flagrantly unreasonable request!
Come, step out here; we will examine the contents of your bag.
Correct! You are a man of discernment.
Do you care to precede me, or walk discreetly to the rear?
Everywhere at this time of Earth’s dying exceptional circumstances are to be noted.
First, I must inquire, how profound is your knowledge?
For me the causality is unconvincing.
His deeds have been meretricious.
Hold up proceedings!
I am already an accomplished wizard; the increment will merely enhance my craft.
I am first and last a gentleman of honor.
I am guilty only of merriment!
I am rationality personified; it is unthinking to suggest otherwise!
I can resolve your perplexity.
I can suffocate you with pearls, blind you with diamonds.
I detest this indecision.
I doubt if he is capable of such abnegation.
I have taken council with myself and believe I can adequately fulfill the obligations of the job.
I insist upon a rigid separation of functions.
I surmise you to be a noted wizard, seething with spells.
In all candor I have forgotten the question.
Let us drink beer, quart for quart, while we dance the double coppola!
Let us drink wine and consider the matter dispassionately.
Malice is a quality to be deplored.
May I ask the source of your amusement?
Must I really expatiate?
My eye went to you like the nectar moth flits to the jacynth.
My honor has been assailed!
My planning and my magic were decisive!
My wants are simple: an alcove, a couch, a morsel of food for my supper.
No, no: you are out of order! Regulations must be observed.
Our contract encompasses situations of this sort.
Some malignancy has bewitched your brain.
Somewhere there is a flaw in your concepts.
Such language is vulgar.
Such matters lie beyond my specific knowledge.
The air tingles at one’s skin with characteristic zest.
The contingency is remote.
The entire episode is a mockery!
The idea is essentially sound.
The position appears worthy of consideration.
The possibilities would seem incompatible.
The question regarding hidden valuables again becomes relevant.
The tenets of your belief are demonstrably accurate.
There is no more haste in the matter.
This is inhuman malice! I shall see to it you receive your just desserts!
This normally would be my impulse. But these people have stimulated me to quixotic folly.
To victims and unfortunates we extend twenty profound solaces!
Trust me to outwit this moon-calf!
What causes such immediate sobriety?
You cite advantages of which I was unaware.
You have no inducement to offer?
You must now see the futility of your trick.
You put me in an uncomfortable position.
You should have considered this before you maimed me.
Your admiration is understandable.
Your prudence is commendable.
Your request is unorthodox.
Today I breakfast in bed. Rarely do I so indulge myself.
Your wisdom is consumed in confidence.
Away! If I didn’t need them so desperately, I would remove my ears, which in this case have attended you far too long.
No problem is so large or so difficult that it cannot be blamed on someone else.
I fear that the penalties prescribed by tradition must come into effect.
It would be unwise to dress thus, even at night.
Seen in this light, my gain is small, yours is great.
Surely two more unfortunate people do not exist.
The likelihood of pleasure seems small; there are discordants in the episode.
The rumor goes that I am demon-bereft of my senses.
Your pronouncement is sound beyond argument.
Your protests, though of superficial plausibility, will not bear serious examination.
My congratulations on your success. My hat and purse clasp will suit you well, although they show your current ensemble to its disadvantage.
Surely amity would be more productive, especially when you have a deodand behind you.
Whilst you may believe that you have the advantage, arcane forces beyond your comprehension act in my favor.
Nonsense. I was simply protecting your decorative footwear from the river’s mud.
Removing both of my legs seems an excessive punishment. What threat is a hopping vagabond?
I nominate you to enforce my edicts.
I claim my right to hospitality and generous treatment, as is the usual custom towards travelers.
You exude such a personal chife into the air that the stench of the blood may well be redundant.
It is not, in any sense, a nice touch.
I see that my intercession is useless.
Mercy? Why? Your current situation is the consequence of your mode of existence.
I will not have my veracity assailed.
I declare the matter concluded, so claim first share of the spoils.
A person of the proper quality would reject the idea out of hand.
Your claims as to “comprehensive experience” would seem to be well-founded.
In such a case my bare denial carries no great weight.
I suspect that my continued presence will only distract you from your private business, so bid you my leave.
I have a superstitious nature: my appeal for divine aid was a reflex, not a spell.
I suspect that your mental capacity is of a low order.
You are, after all, a volunteer.
I am in no way dispirited by the evident lack of volunteers. I shall merely resort to conscription.
The response I expected was gratitude, not open-mouthed disgust.
Indeed, the word can have that meaning, amongst the uneducated.
As you are a stranger to reasoned argument, I will not exert myself in that regard.
I would add “corruptibility” to that list of virtues.
It is time for you to realize your moral turpitude.
A defensible position, if delivered with smugness.
I do not concede, I merely lack the inclination to develop my argument.
You are insufficiently distinguished to merit a sobriquet.
I look forward to observing that theory put into practice.
You have violated my usufructuary privileges!
I can tell that you are familiar with the abridged version of the text.
This is undeniably the work of a diseased imagination.
I have seldom seen objects so studiously repulsive.
I do not require material compensation; a humble apology will suffice.
You seem to be suffering from a paroxysm. Bear up; I will fetch assistance.
I am infuriated by your allegations!
I am generally aware of the important passages.
I have learned never to act without explicit instructions.
I offer condolences for your lack of taste.
Some of my customers are quite grudging.
You have assailed my most valuable commodity, that is to say, my honor!
I have banished such trivia from my mind.
I am listening with two ears.
You underestimate my attachment, both to this venture and to my comrades.
There is scope for a less antagonistic relationship.
The valley and the road are beautiful, but there is an elegiac element lacking, I feel.
Sir, we are both persons of quality. Surely there is some prospect of a private arrangement?
I see that my dream of a bone-pipe organ moves nearer to actuality.
By no means! I sought only to lessen the tedium of the occasion.
I assure you that I act for the common good, unalloyed, and in all its symmetrical charm.
The Law of Equivalencies is no bagatelle to be disregarded on a whim.
I must confess that I am surprised and hurt by this turn of events.
I trust that your nicety of phrasing is merely an affectation, rather than a device to undermine the generous spirit of our discussions.
The virtue of tenacity, especially when possessed by one’s enemies, is overstated.
The posture is undignified, but the advantage is clear.
I would do so gladly, but my brain is full at the moment.
The stricture is inexplicable, but not onerous. I shall abide by it.
A half-dozen spells writhe and gambol about my cortex.
Cease your ruction! The deception was, once again, for your own benefit.
Come along with us; you have an unconvincing manner.
Such strictures surely do not apply in this case.
Perhaps you will accept this sum to spare me the effort of carrying it?
There is no need for furtiveness.
You overrate the value of these humble objects.
To undertake the task myself would be an insult to your prowess and bravery.
I maintain a prior lien on all of his properties, taken out in anticipation of any future crimes against my person.
That statement would seem less ominous if you were to curtail your drooling.
Allow me to pinpoint your plan’s crucial hidden flaw.
Let us instead debate the former names of this location.
Consider the many opportunities for quiet contemplation.
An intriguing doctrine, which I shall have to consider at length.
I must consult my references, which will require me to leave immediately.
Surely such simple folk cannot be any threat to us.
I remain perplexed. Perhaps you could demonstrate?
I do not consider either alternative desirable. I propose a third option.
Alas that I am temporarily short of funds. Would it be possible to extend some sort of credit?
Your selection of merchandise is indeed extensive and not without interest. However I am forced to wonder about its possible authenticity.
Surely I have seen similar before, although admittedly it was not so extortionately priced.
There are those who would seek scapegoats merely to excuse their own lumpish nature.
Who knows what strange creatures pilfer and intrigue under our dying sun?
I would prefer not to spend my days with footpads, hoodwinks, sundry imps, and incubi.
Diligence, discipline, and dignity: that is what we seek.
She should be reasonably clean and not smell of fish.
You should practice optimism.
I feel travel to be potentially enriching experience.
I am not adverse to performing a service for my fellow man, especially if suitably remunerated.
Alas for the death of good taste and dignity!
As for me, my dignity denies me the opportunity to brawl in the street like a common delinquent.
Surely you are not one to let a trivial matter get in the way of good fellowship and a glass of strong ale?
I suggest we take the opportunity to consider personal enrichment.
Not a moment to spare. Quick, I see the chance of an excellent meal at virtually no cost to ourselves.
What, you offer me remuneration? I trust you remember that I am a person of consequence accustomed to being richly rewarded.
My father often advised the taking of snuff in times of crisis. Pray excuse me while I return home to collect some.
I feel that if people of good will could sit down together and discuss things in a reasoned manner, we could at least make our escape unnoticed.
You will excuse me, sir; after all, it’s not as if your face was sufficiently memorable.
It would appear that dastardly magics are afoot within this eldritch place.
Had I wished for a quiet vacation, I would have gone to Sfere!
Locked! There is not a lock yet which can withstand the carefully applied forces of logic, dexterity, and the Excellent Prismatic Spray.
Duty and self interest combine. A dead deodand is not merely one less hazard to face but also represents the possibility of an excellent pair of boots from the hide.
I, for one, would pay handsomely to escape this clinging forest.
Tarry not; such is the nature of our party that even a warm welcome cools on closer acquaintance.
A journey suggests many possibilities. The possibility that it may enable me to avoid sundry creditors being one of the more important.
I would gladly pay what is owing but I am by nature a philanthropist and have given virtually everything I own to the poor. Candor compels me to admit that most of the poor were tapsters, bawds, trollops, and courtesans.
I recommend we leave; quietly, and with a minimum of fuss. I also recommend that we do it now.
Yet even as you spoke I saw a film pass over the face of the sun.
When I was younger I spent much time in the company of sages and pedants. That assuaged my thirst for knowledge and now I shun such company when at all possible.
The ale, while in itself foul, does at least mask the taste of the gruel.
Do not burn down your own house in order to inconvenience even your chief wife’s mother!
Where the road bends abruptly, take short steps.
However high the tree, the shortest axe can reach the trunk.
You must learn to itch where you can scratch.
Who in a single language can compare the tranquilizing grace of a maiden with the invigorating pleasure of witnessing a well-contested rat-fight?
It has been said that there are few situations in life that cannot be honorably settled, and without loss of time, either by suicide, a bag of gold, or by thrusting a despised antagonist over the edge of a precipice upon a dark night.
Shame fades in the morning, debts remain from day to day.
Among virtuous friends a slight inclination of the head is as efficacious as the more painful admonition from an iron-shod foot.
However deep one digs a well, it affords no refuge in time of flood.
The ready availability of suicide, like sex and alcohol, is one of life’s basic consolations.
