Holy fucking shit… I’ve done so much in the last few days but what the crap was that? A cloud that blasts lightning bolts and not only kills things but turns them into zombies that try to munch your brains and don’t stop till you drop them – then when you do they explode and lay half your surviving allies to waste. What is it that Bones always says… all’s fair in love, war and skullduggery – anything goes so don’t bitch about it. That was fine if someone gets a black eye, but your friends turning into exploding undead that want to rip your face off is uncool. He’d still say don’t bitch so I won’t.
So let’s look at what we’ve got up to. I feel a bit bad that I’ve skedaddled from school, not about school – they can eat shit and die, but I might have let Aunty down a bit, she has hopes for me and I guess she doesn’t want me to have to live like she and Bones do. I don’t know why really, they’re happy and have got all they need. Still she wanted me to stick it out and there’s not much chance the school’ll let me back. I’m definitely a skiver for not going and telling her face-to-face, and Bones will have a piece of me for that – he’d be on my side but for the fact that Aunty will want to rag me out – he’s not likely to stick up for me and that’s pretty fair. I better make them proud – no pressure.
Bigubu, while he’s a bit of a rod, he’s all right you know. He pissfarts around with his “gun” or whatever he calls it when we get into sticky situations but he’s smarter than a hatful of beholders and actually pretty interesting to talk to. He got us some horses, nice to have a buddy who is connected to the Twelve, and we hooked up with Talon and headed off to cross the Plains. It’s gonna be a few days and if the first three are anything to go by, we’ll be lucky to make it.
The first night we were set upon by Blood of Vol devotees and we sorted them out. Everyone else is nightblind so I got to show my worth to an audience who couldn’t see me, nothing worse, but they saw the results by the light of the fire. Bigubu and his blaster, damn near started a forest fire. The boss got away, I expect he’ll come back again but I think he learnt that night time ain’t the right time to dance with the Monkey, unless he’s got some other friends. We’d better find out more about the BOV or we might be USC.
We finished the night in a nice inn that looked after us – they appreciated Gimp and his appetite for live flesh. We met some militiamen in the inn who chatted to us about bandits and Valenar elves “incursions” whatever that is. Later on the road we met more passing Fort Barrow – an unabandoned? repopulated? fort along the road that is copopulated by the undead former owners. We’ll look them up on the way back.
Also we met some weirdo locals on the road and paid too much for some fresh produce – I’m pretty sure Bigubu hasn’t had to shop before – but Hal used it all to whip us up a pretty good meal in a nice secluded clearing we got led to by an old halfling we met on the road. Ol Woody he calls himself and he’s pretty comfortable in his own skin. Was not pertur… potherb… worried by us and told us some hair raising stories about night hags, hunters and their even more dangerous prey, vampires and locally dodgeworthy haunts. Also pointed out that we had got some Bloodroot, and that eating it isn’t a good idea unless you like Vampire teeth waking you up at night.
I didn’t have the best sleep, whatever Ragpile fed me a few days ago gave me fully real visions of wormpeople attacking me and left me cowering like a girl against a rock until I wacked myself and the vision cleared to reveal my friends trying to wake me. At first I thought the old halfling was messing with us but Hal reminded me of the worm I ate that Ragpile gave me. Fuckshitfuckshitshit, woulda been fun if I had have known – instead I lost it. Never got to meet Ragpile’s “lord” either.
Things were pretty sombre through today as I guess the whole thing shook everyone up a bit, and because we came close by the Mournland. Took something coming out of there to cast a darker cloud over our day literally. We’re riding along and a cloud passes overhead streaking lightning and generally looking grumpy. It separated and a half of it settled over the road ahead. We weren’t too keen on meeting it until we found that it had attacked some travellers and, like I said at the start, started turning them into zombies. The travellers had some guards who were battling away but we saved their butts by turning up when we did. Bigubu still has sparks coming out of his britches but we came out of it all right. His gun need some repairs though I think. I’ve heard of zombies but they really are unpleasant foes – still we smoked them. Bigubu needs to learn what fights to pick, I might find I’m protecting his sheltered arse more than I care to.