Background

After much deliberation, the members of Apocalypse Now decided that they would whore their way through their difficulties.

Scout Report

We went into the fiends hideout today. Its not many a day one can say that. And then left, almost non can say that. I don’t think I’ll go back.

The last time we meet the fiends, fargo had carnal relations with their leader. Today he banged their queen in a three-way. I’m sensing a disturbing pattern.

We have picked up the mute Senator’s Son. and instead of taking him back to Austin , we are taking him to Lubbock. My home. To the infamous burger miester.

The BM had already poisoned them. If only they had let me explain. but no one listens to me.Still plenty of grenades handy, that’s a plus. Ever since I had to help a buddy out to Dallas, I had been making my way back

Trapped in the Wastes, I find himself leaping from deed to deed, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that my next deed will be the deed home.

After all this time I’m finally going home.

Odin den utspekulerte 1st year Heyannir Day 12

We have retrieved Son the Senator and are on our way to Lubbock. The price I paid was merely chopping off my God-manhood and growing it back. I felt considerably lighter without the mighty hammer to swing as I took my strides.

The Fiends were numerous and rarely had body parts from less than three different Midgardians. I had thought that Niflheim was the worse fate that could befell a warrior.

Miles Anus Asunder (FoHN) took the Demon Queen to bed. Coincidentally Skadi means “loss” in my tongue, which is what happened to Miles’ pride… He made noises that will haunt my dreams until my namesleep occurs.

Ziggy’s Log: Stardate…Still ticking somehow

Nothing makes sense anymore. Not to suggest that it ever really did, but the little amount of sense that the world appeared to make was also a lie. Science is my only sanctuary, except for probability. Probability be damned.

I’m not entirely sure how, but our murderhappy band of insane and moronic vagrants managed to enter the central stronghold of one of the few groups that is even more insane and moronic, Thanks to my excellent planning, thank you very much, and actually left without getting into a single altercation or unplanned dismemberment. Having run the numbers, the likelyhood of relatively simple diplomacy with the daughter of Vargo the Goat working was absurdly slim at best. So much for all that planning. Well, now the Ethereal Burgerfiend has left us a murdervan and burgers. I decided to stash mine (and the buddy scout’s) for later. Oh, and we got an aptly named ‘Doom Buggy’ and a chest full of caps.

But poisonous death still looms near, not to mention the potential for whatever other horrible beef-fatality the Burgermeister might also have planned for us.

There’s no way someone can be that stealthy…He must have a cloaking device of some kind. I’ll be researching the topic on our way to Lubbock. There must be a means of countering such a technology. Perhaps a sack of flour…or napalm…or both. If we manage to defeat the Burgermeister and obtain his cloaking device, I may be able to apply the technology to Waco, making it the safest of havens. Such a device will still need the massive amount of energy only made possible by a nuclear plant. People are wary of such power, but perhaps if it were underground, where the risk of nuclear meltdown could be subverted by the ability to bury the damned place at a moment’s notice. Though giant ants could still pose a problem. Perhaps a force field? I’m pretty sure I heard the enclave have them, but those guys are assholes, and I don’t think they’d appreciate a mutated individual such as myself asking for such a high tech device.
A personal version would allow me to be an amazing boon to my continued survival.

Miles’s Journal Entry III

The mercenary group, Apocalypse Now: The Seven Magnificent Friends, has secured target, Marcus Antonius from captor, Skadi the Cannibal Queen (see appendix) in exchange of a sexual encounter with me and target, along with items: a.) one (1) Burgermeister burger, and b.) Thor’s genitals. Negotiations went according to plan with no shots fired or casualties.

Target is in a state of catatonia, believed to be caused by prolonged physical, emotional, and mental duress suffered in extended captivity. However, health of target is within acceptable objective parameters. Damage of target therefore negligible.

Apocalypse Now: The Seven Magnificent Friends has been supplied with a vehicle. The vehicle is a white ice cream van. After a routine check, the group has not found explosives or tracking devices within the vehicle. Due to the discovery of seven (7) burgers, seven (7) boxes of french fries, and eighty-four (84) caps in total within the vehicle, there is evidence of the Burgermeister’s involvement, whose m.o. is similar.

The Burgermeister is an enigmatic and eccentric individual whose motivations and allegiances are still unknown. The extent of the Burgermeister’s political reach is unknown. Favors stealth and subtlety, utilizing poisoned burgers. Hires mercenaries. Extent and source of wealth undetermined. Extremely dangerous. Recommended course of action: to be decided.

Currently en route to Lubbock, Texas.

Waiting for Experience

EXPERIENCE?

EXPERIENCE!?

YEAH, I THINK EXPERIENCE

Hmmmm…Experience

I second the motion for experience

HEAR HEAR EXPERIENCE

Give me experience! or give me death!

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All work and no Experience makes Jack a low level boy.

The party has discussed in detail plans on how to acquire the Senator’s Son from the Fiends, Specifically Skat-eye, daughter to Vargo the Goat. Our plan and backup plans are numerous.

The PLAN

PART A
The Gourmet and Thor(Disguised in Fiend Armor) go to the Hospital to invite Skat-eye and the Senator’s son to a delicious picnic at the outskirts of Carthage, offering her an opportunity to taste meat she has most definitely not had before (Remaining Antidote Burger, if necessary)

If she accepts, then Great, we offer to trade her the burger for the Senator’s Son, or Thor’s Leg as a sample of Asgardian Meat (That we regenerate with a stim).
If she’s attached to the Senator’s Son for some reason or has the inclination to travel to further her meat-eating mission, we can offer to take her in as a party member, gaining an alliance with the Fiends, and possibly scoring a vehicle and supplies.

If she accepts but doesn’t want to bring the Senator’s Son, or flat out refuses, then the Gourmet will do what he can to distract her while the rest of the party moves on to the subsequent plans. As long as he does not make any references to having ties with us, he(and his driver) shouldn’t be in danger.

PART B:
Thor(Hyped up on Super Soldier Serum) uses Ziggy’s grapple gun to reach the top of the hospital, grab the Senator’s son, jump off the building to the nearest manhole, and retreats, meeting with the party at a previously discussed location, most likely the drainage ditch where the sewers end. By travelling in the sewers, we will eliminate the usefulness of the fiend’s overwhelming superiority in both vehicles and weaponry.

PART C:
Create Diversion in the fiends by planting explosives(and smoke grenades to make the effects more visible) on the opposite end of town to draw fiend forces away from Thor’s escape route.

PART D:
Create a false report of a vulnerable regulator supply shipment to draw more forces from Carthage, as well as report in on their frequency to give misinformation on Thor’s whereabouts if and when they realize he took the Senator’s Son.
-ex: “I just saw him on the north side of town, the bastard stole one of our bikes!”

Alternatively, we can seek to create interference on the Fiends frequency using either a local transmitter or getting Yo-Yo to broadcast on their frequency, though sewing disinformation is more likely to be an effective strategy.

PART F:
The Buddy scout infiltrates the compound and sabotages as many fiend vehicles as possible, preferably the helicopters and most well armed vehicles, possibly stealing one himself to escape/appear like a fiend patrol, if deemed necessary.

Honorable Mentions:
Finding an untapped oil well near the town and drilling a path between the Carthage and it in order to fill the sewers with natural gas and blow up/collapse the entire town in on itself.
As it turns out, there are multiple Natural Gas facilities in Carthage, so filling the sewers with gas and blowing them up is looking more and more doable.

Here is Jeffrey’s Breakdown

Operation Oceans Apocalyptic Magnificent Bastards
Alpha Team: Kirk Mask feeds disinformation regarding to the Fiends regarding a fake regulator convoy with enticing loot. We’ll get Dead-Eye Darien to write up the fake report on the convoy. This will be used to draw off some of the Fiend fighting force.

Bravo Team: Mundy Sweet will come in and offer a picnic for Skadii including the antidote burger.

Objective Papa: If she brings out the Senator’s son, then Thor will grab him while riding off in a Ducati with Road Warrior.

Objective Quebec: If she doesn’t bring out the Senator’s son, then we’ll go ahead and feed the fiends a bunch of sleeping pill laced food.

Charlie Team: While Bravo distracts the fiends.

Objective Romeo: Buddy Scout will be disguised as a Fiend and sabotaging the Fiend vehicles. Buddy Scout will leave a vehicle undamaged so that we may arrange for an escape if needed.

Objective Sierra Thor will join Charlie disguised as a fiend if the conditions for Objective Victor are not met. Miles will join Thor as a fiend in entering the encampment. Thor and Miles will either talk or grapple-hook to the top of the tower to retrieve Senator’s Son.

Delta Team: Ziggy will be preparing explosives on the side of the city opposite of Charlie Team’s planned escape vector.

Epsilon Team: Sniper will take a position along the escape vector to cover a retreat. He will also serve as Rally point Foxtrot where everyone will reconvene to either cripple pursuing Fiends or make a hasty retreat.

Operation Django
We trade Asgardian meat and Burger Meister burger for Senator’s Son.

I…I don’t know why I feel like you guys are telling the truth. I trust my gut but this just has to be the most retarded fiend setup ever devised. I know I’m going to regret doing this but… Lets go.
-Dead-Eye Darien

After arriving at Lufkin with members of the Fiends in pursuit, the members of Apocalypse Now! The 7 Magnificent Friends were met by Dead-Eye Darien. Buddy Scout managed to flag him down so that he didn’t shoot our party on sight. Fiend battle wagon depicted in the above picture on the right.

After convincing Dead-Eye Darien that the members of AN were not Fiends, he agreed to help the group in return for eradicating the Fiend attack force. AN devised a plan where they would attempt to use the harpoon guns on the battle wagon in order to chain the fiends together with barbed wire.

Upon seeing AN, Dead-Eye Darien and his posse, the Fiends opened up fire with several volleys of rockets causing the Battle Wagon to spin out of control. Kirk Mask managed to regain control and proceeded to the southern flank of the fiend formation while the Regulators moved to the northern flank. After Frank “Ziggy” Murdock and Thor Vingþórr(Hallower) Von Asgard shot off the harpoon guns Thor jumped onto the enemy dune buggy to neutralize the mini-gun. Rockets punched into the side of the Battle Wagon thereby destroying the armored carrier.

After killing the mini-gun wielder, Thor ripped it off of its mount and pointed it inside the Dune Buggy to kill Tri-Boob and the Driver. At this point, the others near the southern flank started to chainsaw (Kirk Mask), shoot and smoke bomb (Ziggy) their way through the Fiends.

After thoroughly routing the Fiends, the members of AN picked up salvaged as detailed on the lefts side of the above picture.

Ziggy’s Log: Stardate…We might be fucked.

We’re poisoned, so very poisoned. I can feel myself growing less competent in every way as the days pass. On the bright side, I’ve had two very delicious burgers as of late. So our goal is to extract the Senator’s Son from the Fiends so that a deranged, invisible burgerman will give us the antidote to the poison that is quickly making us increasingly dead.

Our plan utilize a cunningly-crafted picnic basket ruse. Everyone’s favorite ant-suplexing (and possibly man-eating?) gourmand will be joining us with a delicious meal for the daughter of someone who might actually be as smart as I am, as hard as that is to believe. Goat-Stomping Jim the Typhoon, I believe his name was. Strange ones, these fiends, even by my standards.

Oh, and we also nearly died fighting the fiends twice in a 24 hour period. On the bright side, I was able to perform surgery on many people, including Dead-Eye Dan(Darian?).

I removed a paper mache hat from the talker. He’s into some stuff so kinky that even I feel somewhat uncomfortable being around him now.

I’ll be making a grapple gun in my spare time before the final mission, since we’ll actually be in an area with some buildings for our next mission. Once we have the Political Tool Child, we can high-tail it to Lubbock, and hopefully not be burgered to death, or whatever it is invisible sandwich men do.

Oh, and the backup plan is to have Thor challenge people to some sort of gladiatorial sex match, or whatever fiends do when they’re feeling both horny and adversarial, which is always.

Odin den utspekulerte 1st year Heyannir Day 11

I have consumed a poisoned meal that they call a bergar. If the poison should take me to the namesleep, then the bergar shall be known as Thorsbane. Der Meister Von Bergars First of His Name has called upon me to save a male damsel from fiends.

Miles first of his name has been deflowered thoroughly in ways that would be illegal in Asgard. Thus I, as Thor von Asgard have bestowed him the name Miles Anus Asunder (FoHN).

I have waged war upon Fiends and have found them equal to frost giants in their difficulty to strike into namesleep. We were lucky to have Darien of the Dead-Eyes (FoHN) to aide us in the battle. I grieved for the lack of a victory feast.

I have decided that starting from the beginning of december to the unforeseeable future that I will reward extra experience points for contributing to adventure logs or threads on campaign boards of this site. So for example, MercSet (the Buddy Scout) will get an XP boost for posting about what happened on the adventure log. Starting threads on the forums asking quesitons or providing background counts as contributing. Remember, you have to CONTRIBUTE to some kind of discussion for this bonus to apply, you can’t just talk about the shit your cat did today (unless you character has a cat ingame and even then IT BETTER BE INTERESTING!). So, for example, Cameron asking about skill synergies would count. Posting your backstory counts. Posting what your character is thinking about the whole situation and the rest of the party on the drive to Lufkin counts. Suggesting ideas for places for various factions to be counts too. Yes, you could even get a whole new level by doing so!

Where to begin? Well you were on your way to Lufkin to find Dead-Eye Darrien whom would lead you to the Fiends base of operation in New Texas: the old city of Carthage. On the way you encountered a radioactive storm, which you out ran, and then slew a supermutant to take his hiding spot to get out of the rain (a shallow cave). During the storm you heard a strangely pleasing voice singing a song entitled “Starr.” As it turns out, it was Starr, the musical and peaceful (but by no means pacifistic) Supermutant activist for peaceful mutant-human relations. You shared a meal with him, and then sent him off to Waco to assist Yo-Yo on the radio. He went off on the road again, as always does, singing his song.

In the morning you all awoke with plastic bags on your chests (even those of you that decided to sleep naked, or rightside up in the van). Inside was a strange paper cartoon filled with caps (a dozen) and something delicious smelling wrapped in paper. All of you except the Buddy Scout decided to eat the hamburger, and then noticed the writing on the inside of the wrapper, in all magazine cuttings. It informed you that you all were now under the employ of the Burger-Meister, whom was going to pay you to save the senator’s son, and then meet him at the top of the Lubbock Tower (Buddy Scout territory). Your pay was to be a large sum of caps or goods of your choosing, as well as the antidote to the incurable poison you all ingested (Ziggy determined that it was a synthetic Wanamingo poison, for which he could make no cure himself). Ziggy further determined that you all had approximately one week before the poison killed you all (excepting the buddy scout whom did not eat the offered burger, which was instead destroyed in the failed attempt to create a cure).

That same day you raced out towards Lufkin at break-neck speed until you discovered, from some distance, a band of fiends whom you would learn were planning on attacking the ruins of Lufkin and the Regulators positioned there. All of you except Miles (the face man) disguised yourself as Faceless doing one of the regular drug runs for the fiends. You sold Miles’ body to the captain of this raiding group of Fiends, a woman known as Manaed that had an extra breast and about 100 pounds of muscle on all of you. A fiend decided to cut the Mighty Thor (dressed as a faceless) whom then proceeded to beat the shit out of said fiend. At this juncture all hell broke loose with bombs and bullets flying between gouts of flame-thrower fire. Miles is near dead, and there were several other injuries. Luckily the Buddy Scout was able to sabotage the Fiends vehicles and you all were able to commandeer the Fiends Armored Car Battle-Wagon and escape with most of your equipment, some of your hit points, and a dozen doses of super-soldier serum. Night is falling, and soon the effects of the Wanamingo poison will be felt (minus 1 to all stats). Remember that when ANY stat reaches zero, you die. More unfortunate, some of you are now addicted to the SuperSoldier Serum. Now you are all racing to Lufkin, at night, in a stolen Fiend BattleWagon, and full of poison, in the hopes that the Regulators MIGHT be able to help you.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1355#comic

Preface-

After they left the city, I felt that the threat of obliteration was lifted. How do I keep finding friends like this?
-Yo-yo on the Radio

After a month of rest and developing the economy of Waco, the Adventurers renamed themselves Apocalypse Now!; The 7 Magnificent Friends. They set out to meet Deadeye Dan in Lufkin for his aide in defeating the Fiends. Senator’s son is currently being held by the Fiends and the members of AN have decided to save him for his support in overthrowing New Texas Republic.

Current Party:

Frank “Ziggy” Murdoch
Thor
Kirk Mask
Buddy Scout
Michael “Redeye” Hume
A couple of other dicks

Plot

After leaving Waco in fanfare, the members of AN rode their vehicles across the desert towards the smoldering remains of Lufkin. On their way, AN spotted an acid storm approaching and proceeded to take shelter in a nearby cave. The cave was inhabited by a super mutant and 2 centaurs which the party promptly disposed of with lightning blasts, shotgun blasts and grenade blasts.

During night time, music was heard playing out over the wastes and the members of AN thus met STAR, the one-humanoid band. STAR was looking for his friend, the previously murdered super mutant, which the members of AN lied and told STAR that they’ve not seen such a person. After directing STAR towards Waco with a letter of introduction.

+ Allegiance STAR

After falling asleep to wait out the storm, they were given “presents” in the night. Each contained 1 poisoned sandwich, 12 caps and a letter that read.

To the Members of Apocalypse Now! At your earliest convenience, please make your way to my tower in Lubbock. Do so after saving (Senators Son).
-Angry Claus?

Unknown to most members of the group, tiny letters at the end stating “where I will give you the antidote.”

It was found by Ziggy that the poison was of the (Jimijango?) albeit a synthesized version. Each person that ate the poisoned sandwich would lose 1 point from all stats each day. After finding this out, they doubled their speed towards Lufkin to find Deadeye Dan and thus discern the location of (senator’s son).

On the way to Lufkin, Ziggy spotted a Fiends encampment in the distance. After strategering, they decided to approach the fiends pretending to be part of the Faceless and have Kirk Mask do the signing to the fiends. After selling renting out the (charismatic hero) to the fiend leader (now called Tri-boob) for a strange backward monkey three way, AN each received a dose of Super Soldier Serum. While at the fiend encampment, a fiend stabbed Thor at which he shouted.

ODIN’S COCK! YOU DARE THREATEN THE MIGHTY THOR WITH SUCH A PUNY WEAPON?
-Thor

This shot lightning and caused the fiends to become hostile which was a great difficulty as they were all hopped up on super-soldier serum at the time. Buddy Scout at this time was off rigging all the Fiend dune buggys with explosives while this was occuring. Ziggy dropped a smoke grenade to try and make a hasty retreat with (faceman) driving the combat wagon. A fiend used a rocket launcher and managed to blow out the backside of the vehicle and left it with only two wheels. Ziggy stabbed Thor with a dose of super-soldier serum at which he also experienced an adrenaline rush causing him to jump the 20 feet from the destroyed car towards the Fiend’s battle humvee.

After knocking out the rocket launcher Fiend at the top of the humvee, (faceman) decided to swing the car around to Tri-Boob. At this time, buddy scout had managed to weigh down the throttle on a bomb strapped dune buggy and send it off into the smoke causing it to explode in the middle of the fighting and tip over the battle humvee. As the rest of the dune bugees started exploding, (Faceman) asked “So are we in?” Using his powerful sexual magnetism on Tri-Boob, he was able to successfully seduce the Fiend leader IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT causing her to bite out his lower lip in a fit of passion and knocking him out.

After an exchange of words with Tri-Boob AN decided to upright the battle humvee in order to hijack it and flee the scene. Managing to run into Tri-Boob on the way out, Ziggy shot her with a harpoon gun which she used to try and hoist herself into the vehicle. During the chaos, Buddy Scout managed to sneak off with the unconscious body of (Faceman) and get picked up by`. Thor managed to throw Tri-Boob off of the vehicle and as she was being dragged, Ziggy shot two rockets at her and managed to sever the rope in the bomb blast.

Post-Apocalyptic Radio Station: Not Fallout but certainly close!

http://ourfaircity.com/sample-page-2/

Hey guys! This is Lovins, sorry but my account got hacked. Evidently some jackass thought there was money to be made by stealing my GMing secrets! Things are still a little wonky but I’m getting them put back together on this website and in real life (as in dealing with my stupid car). Soon I’ll be updating all of your character concepts and whatnot posted.