a pen scratches over several papers arrayed on a desk on its own

Another reminder – I need to remember to thank Alric for this ghostwriter system he bought in the capital of Khorvaire. It’s proved at least four times faster to log this ship’s adventures verbally.

Yesterday, reality walked right on to the deck, and crapped all over my ship.

To start off, we spent nearly an hour deliberating what to do about the so-called ’co-terminus negative plane- guarding the First, and the Priestess of Vol agreed that she would make us all protection stones. So we went back to our tower and agreed to wait 10 weeks for her to produce the necessary amulets.

I went to work on the paperwork necessary for this new Dolurrh forsaken job while Arion investigated some of his missing contacts in the city. Drosin, Lorelea, and Alrik proceeded into the city to look at some kind of new plague.

From what I can gather, Arion discovered four of his contacts dead in a room with a talking door in it, which he then hired to install in our tower … (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 1) and he discerned that these bodies might be related to the plague. So he went back to Alrik and Drosin, who were discovering that this plauge was caused supernaturally somehow.

Meanwhile, I wandered downstairs because I heard two very loud, shrill girls in Alrik’s library, so I knew he couldn’t be in there. I wandered in and they apparently heard me coming. A gorgeous human girl slid off Sailla and grabbed me and hauled me inside. What threw me off was she looked just like Pi – then when she talked just like Pi, I realized she was Pi (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 2), and I was speechless for the first ten minutes as they… pounced all over me. The next hour was a blur of legs and … other things.

It was about this point when Spike walked in and threw cold water on us. Another crisis. The girls decided to go down nude, but I, being the sanest of the three, put my clothes back on. As always, Pi misinterpreted the situation, and plopped down in Alrik’s lap, while he had a panic attack about his deceased wife. Seilla sat in Lorelea’s lap which… was very interesting to watch. During this particular meeting we discovered that it was possible that Lorelea’s father was behind this new plague, and we were going to have to scry him, find him, and kill him.

Pi then, in her infinite … wisdom or something… offered to bang Arion and Lorelea stomped off angrily for what I presume was me courting her then ending of frelling the first sexy nude trelk I came across. It was a moment of weakness, but I haven’t had time to discuss it. Oh and Drosin was happy for the first time I’ve ever seen him happy…(REALITY VIOLATIONS: 3) he was going to kill the undead who’d had a helping hand in making his life (and presumably the life of his ward) a living Hell.

We then assaulted the Vampire’s lair. I’ll cut through a lot of the bullshit here by saying, honestly, he had a brilliant tactic, and it flummoxed us for over an hour. Finally we assaulted the tower with ballista while the Paladin waited at the bottom with his sunblade. Through more accident than design, which seems to be our M.O., we managed to stake him, and drag him on board. We interrogated him for a while and discovered he felt like he had no choice in his actions, that he was being commanded by the Queen of the Dead, who I immediately guessed two things about – One, that she was this “Vol” everyone was so obsessed over, most likely, and two, she didn’t act like any vampire I’ve ever seen, and “Queen of the Dead” seemed like a title best bestowed on one of those Liches you only read about. Oh, and she was probably far out of our league. Well, that never stopped us before.

All in all, this guy knew very little, he was a lackey, and we wanted the main course, so we asked Lorelea what she wanted to do, and as sure as Bob’s your Uncle, Dhampyr killed a bitch.

Normally, it would have ended there. BUT – In this thing’s clothing, we discovered an amulet… and when we picked it up, a – and I quote here directly from Alrik – “sexy-sounding but creepy” voice came to us from over the Amulet and asked if we had properly killed Kessler.

I will spare the pages of this journal the gory details of the entire discussion. Suffice it to say, the Queen of the Dead told us that she put the plans in motion to rouse the first vampire. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 4) She had one question for him: Can the undead live again? The answer was yes. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 5) She’d been searching the planet for 3000 years trying to find a way to live again, not caring who, or what, got in her way, and now she had it. We were part of the means to her end.

That was when Spike took the amulet, the Queen of the Dead yelled “YOU!!!” and Spike vanished. Alrik begged her to return Spike unchanged and unharmed, and Drosin taunted her, screaming some rather nasty epithets about goat sucking and storm related vaginal orifices. She politely ignored him and returned Spike… Different.

She dropped the whammy on us that the Warforged are the souls of the dead, (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 6) returned to life, and Spike was a conquerer named Karn from the past, who tried to unite a nation under his rule. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 7) Which, if you think about it, kinda explains a lot. (But I’m not rescinding the reality violation.)

Once we were over the shock of Spike being a 2000 year old dead guy, Vol then appeared on the ship, announcing her name was Lady Arrandis, and that she started the Vol religion trying to find a way to live again, because her parents forced her into this undeath and she had no way of finding her soul. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 8) Drosin tried to blast her with Positive Energy, he tried Lay on Hands, he tried everything, and could accomplish nothing.

Half a shake after that, she turned and saw Seilla and tried to touch her, seeming to momentarily freak out. There was a strong resemblance, like they were cousins, and Arrandis revealed that Seilla must be her great descendent. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 9) Seilla asked her what the new mark on her thigh (I noticed it earlier when we were nude) was and Arrandis said it was the Mark of Death, something that only manifested through her family line, and that meant somewhere there was a dragon in Seilla’s lineage, which changed things immensely. Dragons would want her dead, because she was part hybrid, and because her skin contained another shard of the prophecy. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 10)

Arrandis commented that we were all in danger from the Dragons – many of us had recently manifested marks, and Sailla’s mark was the deadliest of all. The Dragons would be hunting us down for the kill, and Arrandis had the only safe haven. She reminded us that dragons could shape-change into anything, even gnomes, and when we all turned to look at Pi… she just waved at us and vanished.

“Okay. So. Pi was a Dragon.” (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 11)

We decided, as a group, it was time to head back to Arrandis’ place to hide. We discussed what this mark could mean, what kind of trouble we were in, and several options we had. We learned quite a bit about Karn, and that he’s a little bit nutso. We learned that Arrandis was trying to restart her family line, and needed the Dragon Eye to do it, and that she was willing to play by our silly little moral code if we would agree to be under her protection.

And we did it. We agreed. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 12) So long as she plays by our rules, we stay under her protection, and we find out how to kill the first vampire and fight off the dragons. (REALITY VIOLATIONS: 13)

But that’s it. That’s the last time. Seilla’s father has chewed her up, knifed her, and spit her out. I’ve spent my entire life fighting off a family who’s labrynthian plans always stab someone in the back to make sure we get ahead, sometimes exceedingly literally. Drosin’s broken because we had to make a deal with essentially the moral equivalent of one of the worst Karnathi war criminals who’s ever lived, and maybe he was already broken. Alrik’s obsession has been chewing him inside and turning him darker, and … well Arion has basically stayed the same.

I’ve forgotten who I was before I started. I’ve forgotten why I rebelled against my family, so backstabbing FUCKFACES like Arrandis wouldn’t win, and Paladins wouldn’t have be in moral divides by zero, and good kids like Seilla wouldn’t get stabbed.

If we’re taking this fight to the Dragons, we’re going to have to stop aimlessly screwing around and fight. We’re going to train, get better, and fight.

I’m done.

I’ve got zombies to kill, and a city to return to the living.

End log.