.. začnejo kjer začnejo.
Mestni drog z obvestili:
- Clear a basement with a rat infestation.
– Help wanted: Finding lost swan.
– A favorite of mine is the find the lost dog quest.You have the dog be possessed/trapped/whatever the fuck you want. Shit is always cash.
- Or have them catch rats in a sewer to take to a basement.
Each time they check the board have it switch between the two.
- “Helper needed, care for elderly”
- Make sure to describe the spongebaths in excrutiating detail, using all of the senses.Help them feel they REALLY ARE spongebathing naked old people.
- Stuffing goblins.
- Wanted! Capable Outdoorsmen to source and collect wild herbs/flowers for Apothecary Supplies Yes, pay your lvl 1 PCs to go flower picking
- have a really badly scrawled note saying “DEMONZ IZ ATAKIN OUR VILIAGE, PLZ HALP” and an address, when they show up at the place everyone is terrified of the evil demons that come at night. nightfall comes, and the PCs find no demons, but some houses have been broken into and raided for food, anything that’s outside has been ransacked or tipped over if it’s small. This continues as long as the PCs are there, until one night a child is stolen. If the PCs prepare a trap and are vigilant, they discover that there are no demons. The town has been plagued. BY A RACOON! (or a fox or equivalent fantasy beastie)
- Wanted! Adventurers for medical experiments! (On the basis that adventerers have higher levels, and are thus more likely to survive the experiments, and the apprentice apothecaries attempts to cure the experiments.)
- The defense force against orc attack has been freed and is rampaging amidst the town;
- A horde of cats need to be tracked down and subdued; they are hostile and very well may scratch the PCs to death.
- “Help wanted: body guard for two weeks.” when they get there its a goblin or kobold camp that’s waiting for the next generation to come of raiding age.
- Help wanted
Apply at back door of wizard tower
Water hauling experience welcome
Bring buckets if possible
- Characters get hired by some old guy to escort him to some shrine in the swamp. They have to kill a few undead bog monsters but ultimately it’s uneventful, they get paid and he invites them to stop by his home some time.If they do take him up on the offer, it turns out he’s a cannibal.
- WANTED: Collectors for Golden Collection Agency Golden is just the name of the business, the job is collecting people’s trash and waste from their chamber pots.
- A couple of cool wizards looking for a few other cool wizards to hang out in our party tower. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you are fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Nothing sexual.
- Writed by childish hand: HALP WONTED NED GET RID OFF A BIG MEAN BULLY! I PAY YOU MY COPPER! And he pay you a copper coin
- The Lord and ruler of these lands hereby proclaims
That any and all capable men
Who in the service to their liege
Slay and present the head
Of any Goblin in the Royal Woods
Are to receive a stipend
Of five silver coins.
- Defend the towns vital resources against hostile invaders: Help the town healer pull weeds out of her herb garden
- Hunt down a lost, forbidden treasure (a greedy nobleman threw a gold coin into the town fountain by mistake and wants you to fish it out for him without anyone noticing)
- Adventurers needed for dire situation located at local bachelor’s wine cellar. Female adventurers only, half-orcs and dwarves need not apply. Ability to hold breath for abnormal periods a must. Gnomes paid in double.

1. Sidequest.
Osnova je Burning plague:
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/oa/20000801a

- lvl 2 kobold sorcerer (chieftain)
- 17 kobods (Feat: Point blank shot)
- single dire weasel
- 8 domesticated rats

Sorcerer zna:
Feat: Spell focus (Conjuration (Grease))
Sleep, Grease

So utrjeni na hribu:
http://shrani.si/f/3Q/LB/GXBsNDE/rudnik.png

Difficult Terrain

Difficult terrain hampers movement. Each square of difficult terrain counts as 2 squares of movement. (Each diagonal move into a difficult terrain square counts as 3 squares.) You can’t run or charge across difficult terrain.

If you occupy squares with different kinds of terrain, you can move only as fast as the most difficult terrain you occupy will allow.

Flying and incorporeal creatures are not hampered by difficult terrain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
- "Exterminators in the west are chasing me and my pet snake, Sir Biteykins. Find me in the cave with a picture of a kobold hugging a snake with a top hat on the outside! Just such a drawing appears in crayon below the request.
- “Murderous house cat on the loose, stop it at all costs.”
- “The gnolls killed my dog They must PAY”
- “Dance Lessons Needed. ASAP!!”
- “Wife Kidnapped by Demon Bear. Justice wanted.”
- “Delivery person(s) needed. Must be discrete.”
- “Celebration tonight at Thwibble Stonefist’s place. Security and Beer needed.”
- “Brave adventures should investigate the cave of suffering.”
- Personal Tutors required for young noble woman, must know the sword, ettiquete, magic and other useful skills for a young woman to learn.
- Missing Griffion, please help find.
- Local boy goes missing, heroes required to find him, Mark, if you’re reading this, please come home.
- Negotiators required for dealings with local bandits, must bring own weapons.
- PLEASE HELP: Local Orc tribe agrees to intergrate if a local man beats their Cheiftan, Blacktooth Bloodfucker, master Brawler required to train local men. Please inquire within.
- “Competent cook needed for discrete client. Must have knowledge of ogre cuisine.”
- “Get RICH in door-to-door dagger sales. Good commission rates. No prior experience needed. Attend a free session at 147 Bucket Street”.
- “NUDE MODELS NEEDED”
- “WANTED: human cadavers. No questions asked. Freshness preferable, but optional.”
- Written neatly in cursive: “To whom it may concern: during a recent magical mishap, my spellbook became sapient and took leave of me to find adventure. He who returns it to me undamaged shall be rewarded greatly.
Note also that the book is quite persuasive and an unabashed liar; anything it has to say on the subject of treasonous activities or distasteful sexual practices is a falsehood designed to maintain its own ill-gotten freedom at my expense.”
- In a barely legible scrawl: “iz need girl troll for matin seezun. no advenchurers. anywun tryin ta skin me iz get skwisht.”
- “We Buy Shiny Trinkets!”
- “WANTED: Dragon scales. Paid on delivery.”
- “Merchant requires security detail to [city].”
- “Looking for experienced adventurers looking to do some retrieval work. Must be Discrete.”
With this one have them working for a local black market slaver. Have then capture elves / trolls / Orcs / <insert>
- “Witch paralyzed me and stole my clothes, please help me get revenge. Will pay upon completion of services rendered.”
-Hrothgar the Barbarian
- KNIFE FIGHT!

SKILLED KNIFE FIGHTER TAKES ALL COMERS TOMORROW ONLY YOU WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE YOU WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE KNIFE FIGHT!

- “stolen ring. stolen by woman in white dress. Reward. little mikey”
- “Sailors needed for an unusual journey. Payment on completion of duties. Contact Captain Breadstone of the fine sloop Protagonist”
- “Druids, clerics, holy men and other divine enchanters needed to cure my daughter of a curse. 1000gp for results”
- “I dink mah haus iz hanted. Herd me som gosts de oder nite. Box of old crap fer yer trubles”
- “Band of settlers requested to seek out new frontiers, unfortold riches. Contact your local Mountainhome dignitary today! Strike the earth!”
- “Live subjects for experimentation needed. No long-term harm expected.”
- “Sparring partner required.”
- WORLD’S LARGEST CROSSBOW!

3 MILES SOUTH OF GREYLAKE! 3 COPPER TO SEE, 10 SILVER TO FIRE! MARVEL AT THE ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION WHICH BROUGHT DOWN THE WALLS OF SKELETON KEEP AND ENDED THE EVIL BARON’S LIFE!

- “Wanted. Young, skinny, wiry fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred.”

- S – T – O – P – !
How would you like to DRINK for COIN?

Every healthy man needs that certain allure, that animal magnetism, that swagger in his step. Every healthy man needs… Pirovi Patel’s Most Excellent N A G A H I D E . F I R E B E L L Y . T O N I C S If you have a true firebelly, the brewmaster Pirovi Patel needs you! Flavour testers possessed of only the choicest palates are needed to introduce the latest and greatest arcane miracle elixirs! Inquire with Josen the Young.

- Basement Infested with rats, need people with swords to come deal with it
- “Rat problem below Split Anvil Inn. Contact Barkeep for details.”
It’s a were-rat problem though…
- “1st Bank of [insert city name here] requires hardy adventurers to protect caravan to dwarven lands. High risk, high rewards.”

- Are you indifferent to the world around you? Do you not care for material possessions? Does the idea of immortality and unlimited power do nothing for you? If you’re extremely unmotivated, this specialized guard position is for you! Salary will be 86 or so (insert currency) per week. One year contract minimum. - Hopeless Necromantic seeks dark, slender girl for graveyard romps. - "Need drummer for the upcoming battle of the bards, meet in the basement of the Wooden Bearknight Inn all day Saturday. - The Thunderbarks" - In really small text: “If you’re close enough to read this, you’re already infected. Meet behind the Willow Well at 2 AM for the cure. Bring dead men or gold.”

- Looking for mercs experienced in non stop traveling and possessing knowledge of bat country.
- “Loaf of owlbears terrorizing my daughters, experienced adventurers needed. Will pay in pies.”
- “Need special effects artist for the upcoming battle of the bards, meet in the shed next to the Gooseneck Inn all day Saturday.
-Maynd Flair”

- Baby lost, seeking many new babies as replacements. Report to the old cottage by Spider Cave.

- Troll used my outhouse last week, haven’t been able to go near it since. Cleric needed to dispel lingering evil.

- “For Sale: One Dagger. Never Used.”

- “Attention Bards!! My daughter’s 16 birthday is coming up and after the travesty that was her 15th, I want to make this one special. Performances must be musical in nature. Clothing REQUIRED!!”

- “Exterminators Wanted: The storage room of my tavern seems to have been infested with giant rats. Need them gone before city health inspector shows up this Friday. Willing to pay in beer and use of bar wenches. NO BERSERKERS!” - “Help Wanted: Good with a knife? Enjoy working with your hands? Talented scrimshaw artisans wanted to help cover extra large order. Will be working in Ivory so experienced scrimshaw artisans only. Payment given per piece completed.” - “Healer Wanted: Must be discrete. Need to retrieve wife’s pet gerbil from….orifice….before she returns this weekend.” - "Want to learn Magic!? This Tuesday only, Rodolfo the Magnificent will be at the Bloated Boar Tavern & Inn offering Free Magic Lessons* from 4 to 7 pm. *Free Magic Lessons only valid with 2 drink minimum." - Miscellaneous magical creatures wanted. Contact Transmuter Kelvin in the Auld Tower. (Instructions to reach tower, couple miles out of town.) [PS] Live preferred. Will pay half for cadeavers, 1/4th x % of body for individual parts. MANLY MEN* OF MUSTACHIOED MIGHT AND MASTERY Is your grizzled facial thicket a steel wool of testosterone, scrubbing the ladies away as dainty elves cry in their soup? Whether you’re a sentient beard-golem that has somehow grown a dwarf, or simply a chinless neckbeard, spread true facial hair terror at the 253rd Annual Beard-Off, hosted by “Masticate’” Mastengard Ironson. BE THERE OR BE BARE! *Bearded ladies are acceptable. We do not discriminate by sex, merely the nakedness of one’s chin. Exterminator Abbatoir custodian Cesspit technician Gravedigger Tanner Gardener Dictation Hangman assistant Bilge cleaner ~ Ragged scrap of paper with nothing but a hand-smear of dark red substance. mysterious.. and somewhat gross. ~ Propaganda/racist slogans scribbled on the cork/on pieces of paper between and behind more legit postings. “Elves Should Go Back To Their Trees!” “gOliMs r MAde oF poo” Beware The Dwarf Menace! What are they hiding with those beards? Join Concerned Townspeople for Public Debate and Lynching"

- Do you lack that “certain something?” Is your performance leaving something to be desired? Custom magical arms and armor to order available at…

- Don’t be left in the dark when it matters most, put your trust in Harold’s House of Hardy Handlanterns!

- “Kender done stole my spell component pouch! Bring him— alive or dead, doesn’t matter— and the pouch to the eastern tower, for a handsome reward.”

- “Are YOU a male adventurer considered Young for your species? Make extra money as a test subject for Magical Experimentation.”

- “Feemal Trol seecs kumpannyunship. Njoys lnog LONG wauks en kaves, torch litt dinerz, end otherr stuff. NO EDVENCHURURZ”

- Concerned mother requires Industry Experts to give adventure-curious son a firm Talking To.

- “Childless super-genius looking for suitable inheritor to a lifetime of adventuring legacy. Apply in person.”

- “Frogs raining from sky. Everyone complains about the weather, seeking someone to do something about it. Apply to Goatpath village.”

- “Young half elf male seeing group of 4 to 6 like minded individuals for Adventure this Saturday Night! Willing to host, provide food, and play music to set the mood if necessary.
Please, no one younger than 16. Must bring own dice.”

- "My future self has come back in time, he’s murdered my wife and has sent me out with a “two day head start” Please help me." SIEGE ENGINEERS WANTED Extensive experience with Ballista and Mangolens a plus, but not required. Actual battlefield experience preferred. Knowledge of advanced ballistics desired. Inquire at the Watch Office, 323 Cobblestone Way. WANTED: Hair growing potion. Must work on face in addition to scalp. Payment to be negotiated upon proof of effectiveness. - LEARN ORC COOKIN COME BY OUR PLACE FRIDAY NIGHTS WASH UP FIRST, NO SOAP! - WANTED- ENGLISH-ORCISH TRANSLATOR Knowledge of elven and infernal a plus, but not necessary. Must be able to speak the full range of orcish expressions (including body language such as choke-holds and sucker punches.) Inquire at Smythe’s Brothers’ Investments, 4462 Mayfair Drive. - “I have lost my diamonds! They must be somewhere around here, I just can’t find them! Seeking adventurers to search for them! Will pay in shiny trinkets!”

- EXPERIENCED WARRIORS NEEDED
To defend my underground keep from TROUBLESOME ADVENTURERS who have made REPEATED ATTEMPTS to burglar my most prized possessions.
TO INQUIRE- walk a mile out of town, stand in a marsh, and mutter “appointment requested.” A bugbear pulling a carriage will arrive.

- HEY! Do you want to feel SO HEROIC? Try POWERPOTIONS, consumables for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF HEROISM With all new flavors, like TITAN’S STRENGTH! Fuck-a-lot power! It’s like adding YOU to an ADRENALINE STORM! Sound the alarm! You’re going to get UNCOMFORTABLY HEROIC What’s that? You want mind powers? How about MIND FLAYERS? Made with illithid. REAL ILLITHIDS. Adventures! ARRRGH You’ll be good at them! They’re effects for men! MENEFFECTS! These aren’t your wizard’s puns! These are adventurer puns! HEROIC PUNS! Magic, heroism, magic, heroism, magic effects, turbo effects, power effects, MORE EFFECTS THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR You’ll be so awesome, the gods will be all “Slooooow dooooowwwwnnn,” and you’ll say “FUCK YOU” and kick them in the face with your POTION LEGS-

- 100,000 sandwiches needed, freshness not an issue. Bring to civic center for reward.
- Butterfly infestation of untold severity. Not sure if serious, consultants needed.
- “Require portal opened to fellow researcher’s tower. Will pay all ritual costs.”

- “Hello! Forgive me, I’ve never posted anything like this before but groups of Adventures seem to attack my keep fairly regularly, and for no real reason to be honest. Anywho, I find myself in need of maids, butlers, cooks, stewards, and various other support staff to help tidy up the place after these incidents, and also to entertain guests and/or raiding adventuring parties. Wages negotiable depending on previous experience and willingness to work in close proximity of various types of gore. Must not be biased against the dead, undead, recently dead, or soon to be dead. Please apply as soon as possible.”
– Drew."

- WANT TO MAKE GOLD FAST!?!?!?! LEARN TO IDENTIFY MAGIC ITEMS IN YOUR OWN HOME COME TO MANDRAKE’S TOWER AND BECOME AN APPRENTICE TODAY!!!! - FIELD WATCHERS WANTED Hardy souls with sharp eyes requested to keep watch on cattle herds at night. REWARD OFFERED for the apprehension of individual(s) behind recent cattle mutilations. - "I was temporarily cursed by some witch and now I have lady bits. I’m lookin for some spellcaster that knows how to extend curses. Ask the hot chick by the X." - Plate-clad Dark Lord seeks mistress with equally dark and hateful motives. Will only reply to ‘Dark Lord Nihilo’ in public. Must be comfortable with significant other in obsidian platemail at all hours of day. -——————————————— Inquire at Destrado Manor and ask for Milton. ===== - PESKY ADVENTURERS MAKING IT HARD FOR YOU TO STUDY? YOUR BONES GATHERING DUST AT AN UNCOMFORTABLE RATE? TRY THE NEW AND IMPROVED WALK-IN ACID SHOWER! - “GREG’S LADDERS EVERYTHING MUST GO BLOWOUT PRICES!” - “I will pay top dollar for your ten foot poles. -Jon” - Grand Wizard Gastromincon! A thousand potions from a hundred amateur wizards are thrown together in a cauldron and opened to the public? DARE you sample this mystic punch? MARVEL at the effects of residual magical energy! GOLD PRIZES given for anything that furthers the college research programmes! - Experienced Adventurer Party seeks one more member to overthrow evil tyrant Death Adder! Contact: Gillius Thunderhead Ax Battler Tyrus Flare At the Magic Gnome inn. - SKILLED FIGHTERS NEEDED: My wife foolishly allowed a gazebo to be built on my land, specifically upon a grassy knoll. It is terrorizing the neighborhood and destroying my property. Need a party of warriors to eliminate it. Archers and rangers need not apply.

- “I have recently come into a windfall from a distant relative who is a high-ranking nobleman. Looking to spend new fortune on way to store an absurd amount of pornographic material in as small a volume as possible via physical, metaphysical, technological, divine, or arcane means.
Direct your inquiries to Prince Snaggletooth Fishmonger-Pendragon on Harbor Way.”

- “Strange bearded elves sighted on my property. Clerics of Moradin and Corellon Larethian sought to make them leave.” - “Pixie-exterminators sought.” - Construction of new tavern commences in a fortnight. Strong, able bodied workers needed to raise beams, carry stone. Knowledge of masonry or carpentry a plus, but not required. Ask Thoran Hammerheart for additional details. - Wanted: Someone with poor sense of smell and strong arms to clean military stables in war quarter. Smell is beginning to attract complaints from nearby barracks. - Needed! Additional couriers to carry messages from posthouse to town hall. READING MESSAGES IS GROUNDS FOR DISMISSAL, NO EXCEPTIONS. - “Minions Needed. Contact Dark Lord of Eternal Pain and Damnation Tyler.” - "Babysitter wanted. Must like children and be willing to deal with twin 5 year olds with “special needs”. Flame resistant a plus." - "Zombies ate my neighbors!! Below is a list of items of mine that they borrowed before their untimely deaths. Please retrieve from their properties asap. Chisel – Antonicus Dalton Wheelbarrow – Garl Coinpurse Shovel – Wyndi Tocol" - Free kittens looking for good home. Alternating gender. - “Sometimes people aren’t willing to do what they should and need a little persuasion to do the right thing. I am looking for individuals willing to do what needs to be done to encourage a few people to do what they should have from the start. Show up at the Sunken Snake Inn at an hour til midnight and sit at the corner table alone and order two ales to inquire, if you are right for the job, I will know. If you preform your duties well more jobs may become available to you.” - “potion tester needed, five gold a pop.” - WANTED Ragged John -500 GP reward For the crimes of assault, loitering, vandalism, and mastication of a holy relic. (You have to pay 500 GP when you turn him in. This is posted by advocates of the god of justice looking for adventurers who place justice over money.) - Help needed at hospital: physician skilled in bloodletting, the use of herbs and/or leeches, and other recent advancements in medicine and the balancing of humours. - HELP PLEASE: I need someone to tutor me in the art of scrying! Examinations are coming soon, and my father will not accept failing marks! “- Information Golem Gone Wild: Won’t stop spouting useless tibits about places no one cares about. Team needed to assist in dismantling it.” - Insulted polymorphed cloud giants linage, need champion for duel. “Seeking: A rhyme for ‘orange.’ Will pay handsomely. -An Enraged Bard" - “I must lose 135 lbs before my wedding in two months! I want to be able to wear my grandfather’s tuxedo! Looking for stouthearted adventurer(s) to take me along with them on arduous journeys of invigorating outdoorsmanship!” Accepting this quest results in an overweight and easily exhausted character joining your party. He tries to fight alongside you, but never hits anything. He gives up and goes home after two or three encounters. critical success on any roll involving his cowardly abandonment means you inspire the poor fellow, he gets serious about saving the day and improving himself and shapes up into a rather more acceptable individual. Crit Failure means he dies in the woods after leaving you, authorities are convinced you murdered the poor man, who turns out to be baron’s son. entire region puts price on your heads. - BRIGANDS A group of ne’er-do-wells has unlawfully entered my home and absconded with many prized objects d’art. I seek justice! Seek me at the skull-shaped cave 20 miles east. ? – Acererak - “It’s been so long since I’ve cleaned out my icebox, I’m afraid the mold has gained sentience. Seeking a band of sellswords to slay it.” Eagle, eye, squiggle, walking man, foot, snake, eye. -Shokranhotep - “A ravid emerged from a momentary dimensional rift into my erotica outlet. It has animated a box of my finest dildos and absconded. Will pay handsomely for retrieval of dildos, with bonus for unharmed retrieval of the ravid. Ask for Saucy Jane at the Clam and Pearl.” - Mature Barbarian male, tall and with good sense of humour. Seeks petite female rogue for friendship, maybe more. - HORSE IS ON BOAT COME GET HORSE OFF OF BOAT YOU CAN KEEP HORSE - “400-pound barbarian queen of deceptive agility, terrifying power, and subhuman table manners has anchored herself into our eatery and refuses to leave until a man bests her in an eating contest to prove ‘worthy of marriage’. She is eating all of our food and driving away all of our customers. Suspect she may be possessed by a demon, possibly multiple demons, as there is no possible way for one human being to eat as much as she does. Will pay handsome coin for her extraction by any means necessary. Further inquiries may be made at the Blind Ogre.” - “Wanted: Skilled painter for finishing touches on horrifying statue. I can no longer bear the burden of having created this monstrosity, and need someone to share it with.” - “Wanted: Thuggish hooligans to assist local Evil Overlord in getting back to roots.” - “Alcoholic dragon seeks designated driver. Able to pay in ancient gold, magical artifacts, and an amazingly good time. Pyrophobes should not apply.” - “Inter-species dating advice. Get it from someone who’s seen and done it all! No question or situation is too outlandish. (Succubic credentials available on request)” - “Help needed dealing with local landshark ingestion. And for the last time, NO DWARVES. This is your fault to begin with, you little bastards.” - “Polymorphing victim seeks Help. Will not turn away anyone with any experience in shapeshifting or form altering magic. Poster seeks to return to his original form, cost is not an issue. Ask for Steve at (XXXXX)” “PS cross dressing help/advice is also accepted” - An incredibly old-looking flyer, evidently only held together by magic. Despite the cluttered nature of the board, this note has a generous amount of space around it. “In need of an adventuring party to test-run my tomb. Survivors will be rewarded based on the extent of their success. Attempting to circumvent the challenge by destroying large portions of my property will result in swift yet exceedingly painful death.” “-Acererak” - “Some sort of portal to the Abyss has been opened in my basement. Need help disguising it so my wife won’t notice.” ontopic: dig up one of those talking x-mas tree assemblies and build it into your corkboard. reprogram it to beg/proclaim “stay a while and listen!”, eyes and flapping mouth suddenly appearing out of the pinned notes when they get close to read some small print. - “Seeking ring that brings happiness and/or dispels loneliness. Will pay handsomely.” - “27 year old STRAIGHT human male seeking sweetheart. Must be a TRUE and HONEST female aged 18-27. Humans and Elves ONLY. No Blacks.”

- “Wanted, comedic pair of dwarf and elf adventurers with sly wit for saving the world adventure. Contact serious human at Dragon’s Whore tavern.”

- “FREE! Kobold adoption! Have boxes of the cute little runts, will give away cheap! Make great gofors, test subjects, and pets! Corner of 69th and main. FREE!” - "Wanted, group of experienced adventurers to pose as town guardsmen to “capture” other group of “adventurers” expected to arrive in 4 days hence. 95 coins per live arrest, 100 per body." - FOR SALE! Flying carpet made by the finest weavers of X and enchanted by me! Come to (the rest of the page is torn away) - Help! Rats have infested my basement and are destroying my pillows! I need them removed as humanely as possible. Come to X - DRINKING CONTEST EVERY MOONDAY! Come to the Rusty Trombone at sunset and bring lots of money. Winner drinks for free! - (written in dwarven) WANTED FOR PURCHASE: Fine elven weap- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA just kidding - Privateers needed to sabotage a merchant engaging in illegitimate business practices. Must be discreet and willing to get your hands dirty. Apply at X - Adventurers needed! Tree worshipers have been attacking my workers on my own land! Apply at X farmstead Northeast of town. - Art Collector searching for new pieces to add to his collection. I am interested in all kinds of art. Bring any pieces you are interested in selling to X. - Lost: Invisible Rod - "FOR SALE: Baby Shoes Never Worn" - WANTED: One Dragon-Slaying Unicorn. Also wanted: one hero to find and return one cursed male princess. Grand reward for both. Written underneith in neat scrawl I ran away for the upteenth time! Stop sending heros after me and let it go, you fucking wankers! Also, for the last time, Alfred, we are not friends. GO AWAY. child-like scrawl Yes we are! Scribble war starts here - Wanted: men experienced in paranormal phenomena to join our 4 man team. will be given own busting equipment and traps upon sign up. contanct Mr. Spengler at XXXX.