“All politics are metaphysical”
– attributed to Count Tyrabidus Marphan, just prior to his initial death, Late Imperial Period, Gate Builder Era.
As above, so below. As within, so without. There’s a sucker born every minute. These are spiritual truths for the ages. Unfortunately our present task is to catalog the Gods known in CITY. A job not unlike counting the grains of sand on a particularly unpleasant beach, just after a Dread Tide, in the rain. Their origin is a mystery, if you’re lucky. A source of bloody, public contention if you’re not. So once more onto that beach, dear would-be-theologians, and let us count the grains. And pray they do not curse us with impotence, higher taxes, or an undue burden of faith.
- preface to The CITY Book of the Dead, revised edition, University of Narayan Press, 250 MSY.
The Common, Accepted CITY pantheon (excluding Hannikum:CITY): Major Deities
- Aja Opal Blossom, goddess of lovers. Formerly a geisha from the Empire of the Three Pillars of Heaven (commonly referred to as ‘Ajakhan’—the land of Aja—which also means ‘land of the coyly submissive’ in the primary Imperial dialect) . Said to have won divinity from Erebus as a part of a divorce settlement from him. One of the patron gods of Narayan:CITY.
- St. Tarte, the Saint of Shamelessness in the Temple of Aja.
- Belli Rex Legis, god of lawyers. One of the patron gods of Narayan:CITY. Also patron of the Honorable Order of Barristers, an order of lawyer-knights.
- Bigby Ghosthands (also Bigby Handsfree), god of valor, battle and hopeless causes. Said to have been maimed by Erebus after repeatedly challenging Him to one-on-one combat . Later granted divinity and a pair ghostly hands by Erebus out of pity.
- Dhalberg (also The Dreamer out of Time), the god of boredom, madness and outer space. Said to rule an Outermost Plane called “Pasadena, California”.
- Kruetzel (the Ever-Rising), god of cooking, home, and hearth. One of the patron gods of Narayan:CITY.
- The Maestro de Grappe, god of swashbucklers, wit, and manliness. Said to have won divinity from Erebus in a duel. Patron god of Gallina:CITY.
- Malec Pearlhammer, god of simple machines and craftsmen, particularly jewelers. Said to be ‘all sizes at once’. Inventor of the cigar lighter.
- Mr. Spidergod, god of money, merchants, contracts, free trade. He appears as a giant golden spider, with the so-called “Eight Perfect Jewels of Heaven” for eyes. His creed is referred to as the “Eightfold Profitable Path”.
- Mr. Three-Legs, god of virility. Said to be both ‘the father of the Giants” and “formerly a Giant”. Legends say the Grand Chasm between the Lassantees Wastes and the Plains of Gallina was dug by his penis dragging along the ground as he walked up and down upon the earth looking for a wife.
- Nadanya (also Nanya, Nonny Fancypants), god who dwells on Mt. Parvishta. Nominally the god of civilization and culture. Legends say Nadanya gave the gift of pants to the Yeti, thus civilizing them. Nadanya is often depicted as a large, handsome Yeti smoking a cigarette, wearing a brocade vest and pantaloons.
- Narsisco (the Saint of Self), the un-god. Teaches followers to worship ‘the god within us all’. His church charges exorbitant fees for their so-called ’12 Station Program’ to personal deification.
- Oroborous, serpent god of the Great Canal; also god of the underworld.
- Pentamoor, goddess of vengeance and storms; also piracy.
- Shialla, the goddess of those who serve unseen; also goddess of darkness and caves.
- The Smoldering Whore of Ur-Imbra, goddess of abandoning and the abandoned. Destroyer of Ur-Imbra, and by extension the Lassantees Empire. Depicted as either a tall woman in desert garb with black pits for eyes, or as a column of fire descending from the sun.
- Tophaceous Pairolairo (the Saint of Sinners), god of gamblers, thieves and scoundrels. Said to have won divinity from Erebus in a game of cards.
The Common, Accepted CITY pantheon (excluding Hannikum:CITY): Minor Deities.
- Dicastor, god of metalworking and sadness.
- Ezramundius (The King of Emperors), chief god in the cult of deified emperors in Eris:CITY.
- The Leeres and Pinyates, small household gods that originated in Eris:CITY. Leeres are short, red, impish creatures who peer in open windows looking for disrobing ladies. Pinyates are roughly dog-sized and said to break open and scatter minor miracles when hung up and beaten repeatably with sticks.
- Mercruxiphus, the winged death-sentence, old Imperial god of justice. Patron of Eris:CITY.
- The Misery Cults (including Mewl, Mournfallow, and The Sower of Men), an almost extinct set of mystery religions of a uniformly pessimistic nature. Dicastor is sometimes considered one of them.
- Mr. Pau Pau, the Saint of Alleyways. Depicted as a faintly luminous cat, often asleep in a flowerbed. Said to able to forgive all sins.
- God (also Al ha’Kum, “The Only One”), the Creator of All, the Most Mighty, the Most Merciful, etc. Only the Priest-King of the Hannikum Church worships Him directly. The rest of the faithful pray to Him indirectly through an array of venerated saints.
- Mr. Cradle-Casket, saint of death and duty.
- Mr. Featherbones, saint of martyrs and missionaries. Often depicted as a Shirac.
- Mr. Skinflower, saint of fertility (female).
- Mr. Jaguar, saint of war, strength, prowess. Said to live in the sun.
- Mr. Onyx, saint of divinely sanctioned murder. Said to be ‘black as the last night of the world, and made of knives.
- Mr. Redlips, saint of blood and healing. Patron of the Order of Bloody Hospitaliers.
- Mr. Skull Monkey, saint of chance and fate, said to embody the unknowable nature of God. Often depicted as a skeletal Hannu.
The Gods of the Barbarians:
- Tiki-Ishii, fire god of the scattered Polyneecheean (Ping Island) tribes. Formerly a volcano.
- The Voice of Thunder, The Wolf With Many Jaws, The Smoke Bear, etc., Aspects of the One God worshiped by the far-flung barbarian tribes outside of CITY.