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Karamus Entry 3
Karamus was awakened by the thunderous charge of children into his den once more. He gave a grumble as he sat up in his old, beat up chair, “What do you want now?” he snapped at them.
“We want to hear more of your story papa,” replied Kasalie with wanderlust in her eyes.
Karamus gave a snort. “Then one of you get my drink from your mother,” he said as he motioned to the door. Kasalie was quick to stand to her feet and ran out the door, her tail flicking with excitement. She returned a few moments later and handed the old rogue a large mug of bubbling liquid. “Cheers,” he grumbled before drinking it down, the look of disgust on his face readily apparent.
“Why do you drink it?” asked Kaur as he looked up to his father.
Karamus lowered the mug and looked over his children with a nasty look, “What is the first thing I taught all of you?” he asked.
In unison, the children sounded off, “Never trust a paladin.”
“There is your answer Kaur. I trusted a paladin once and he nearly killed me,” he said as he set the mug off to one side and settled back into his chair. “Now, enough of that, where was I..? Ah yes, the planes. We had finally made our way through the sickly flesh covered land and fought our way into the Cathedral of Feathers.
“Seeing as those spider creatures had laid a trap for us, I decided to be cautious and began checking for any other traps that may be ahead of us. The main door was clear of any such things and I motioned for Kort to go through and check out the room, because let’s be realistic: if it is either me or the dwarf that is going to die first, it will always be that sodding dwarf. As I thought this, he stepped through the door, and (as if on cue) he was attacked by a beautiful succubus,” he said with a snicker, as he shot a glance to the open door that led to the rest of the house.
“Anyway, she flew down from the ceiling, trying (and failing) to grab the dwarf. Immediately after, a huge wall of fire erupted out of the ground like hellfire. It sprung up between Kort and the rest of the group, effectively cutting the dwarf off from any help. This brings up a good point, however. The dark of it is that you should always bring a cutter who can work magic with you, as it comes in handy from time to time. Take Bransen, the berk farmer turned… well, something else. I don’t think I ever figured out what he really was. Anyways, he immediately dispelled the wall with a flick of his wrist like it was nothing.
“With a sigh, I darted forward, ducking off to the fiend’s flank as I flicked forth Daystar and pierced her ribs with it. She howled like the barmies in the Hive, and tried to fly away, but in doing so exposed herself…” Karamus tried to hold back a chuckle, but failed. The children looked at him in confusion, “Get it? Exposed?” he asked, but the children merely blinked back at him. The old cansin’s eyes narrowed, “Ask your mother about it,” he spat. “Anyway, she tried to fly away and with the edge of the blade I cut off her leg and she fell to the ground dying.
“The half-breed quickly entered farther into the large room where he found a sodding salamander hiding out, trying not to be seen. Why a huge flaming reptile would bother hiding is beyond me but alas, there it was. The group quickly moved to engage it, figuring it was the one who conjured the wall of fire. I tried to duck and roll around it but it was a little fast for me and caught me with its tail. It flailed me around all over and I thought I was going to puke but the paladin and company killed it in short order, and I was ungraciously dumped on the ground.
“With the initial fights finally concluded, we rested for the remainder of the day to recoup spells and caught our breath. We found out that the Cathedral was in a state of flux, experiencing celestial flashbacks every once in awhile. Frankly, it was unnerving to have the scenery change, kind of like when your mother decides to clean.” He snorted a laugh and then continued.
“So the next morning we spent the better part of the day preparing for the fight we knew was coming up. To win over the place, we had to pass a couple Tests. The first was to choose a fight between either a bebilith or an angel. Since I never liked talking to sodding angels, let alone fighting them, I was pleased to hear the group agree to fight the fiend. It was like beating up a family bully really. Anyways, we planned and prepared for the fight. When the group was ready, we entered the choosing room where a corpse got up and asked us to choose, the demon or the angel. Now… I’m no Dusty, so I’m not in the habit of speaking to dead people, but considering the place we were in, I was willing to make an exception. We headed off to the door marked ‘demon this way’ and the fight was on.
“The situation immediately called for improv as the half-fiend was barred by some barrier from entering the room. As we all stood there confused, the bebilith attacked. It rushed us with is monstrous huge spider body and 20 foot long legs. From its fangs dripped poison that spilled like acid along the floor. I decided discretion was the better part of valor and went invisible as the rest of the group engaged the demon. The paladin…heh…took several bites from the bebilith while the half-breed bub-basher wailed away with his stick.
“Now, when a magic user comes up to you and asks if you want a shield other spell cast upon you, tell him to pike it. Good lord, does that hamper the fighting style of a rogue such as myself. I finally got tired of waiting for him to advance, so I sprung forward and used my state of invisibility to get around to the side of the demon, striking a deadly blow upon the body of the spider. Just as I was about to swing again, that blasted paladin shoved his oversized sword down its throat and killed it.”
Karamus gave a violent cough that sent a shudder throughout his whole body, “Boy… get my vial,” he said before coughing again. The young boy Desmon quickly went to the desk and fished out a vial, which he handed over to the old cansin, “Good, good,” he stammered and quickly drained the foul tasting liquid. “Why is it that everything that helps you tastes like dragon blek?” he muttered.
“I will make this quick. After defeating the demon, the dead guy appeared again, telling us that we had passed the first Test and to proceed to the next test. We found a lantern that shined a light that made a path for us to follow. Sadly, it was out of the cathedral and back onto the flesh covered ground beneath the fiery sky.”