Lacuna, part 2
Referee: When we last left, Kagin was getting all dressed up and T’Reth was getting ready to call his lost love?
T’Reth: T’Reth falls asleep first.
T’Reth: Or after.
T’Reth: because I am going to spend a fate point to declare that the contents of that conversation are off-screen utnil the most hilarious and awkward moment possible
Kagin: Oh, we got a skill point, yes?
Referee: Oh. Yes.
Referee: Sounds good to me. Maybe you don’t even remember having the conversation!
T’Reth: alcohol + memory effects of alien body swap
T’Reth: the skill pyramid
Referee: Unpredictable at best!
T’Reth: you need MORE skills below than above, right?
Kagin: I was apparently doing it wrong. I have fixed that by adding Rapport.
Dr. Wright: “You do realize you need to take advantage of this, right? There has to be some sort of prank pulled on T’Reth.”
Kagin: You don’t think drinking my body near to death was enough of a “prank?”
Dr. Wright: “Well, that’s more something she’s doing to you. Good luck with the hangover, by the way.”
Kagin: Yeah, that should be great.
Kagin: I can think of some creepy pranks. I mean, she has a nice body…
Kagin: But no. Creepy.
Kagin: Do Vulcans get hangovers?
Kagin: How does alcohol affect them?
Dr. Wright: “In the name of science, I propose a study.”
Dr. Wright: “We don’t have a control, granted, but sometimes we don’t get to work in ideal conditions.”
Kagin: “Waiter? Give me uh… something strong. Got any Klingon drinks?”
Waiter: “Nah. Health codes prohibit us from serving anything that is technically alive.”
T’Reth: wait we have a WAITER on our skeleton crew ship?
Referee: They are on the planet.
Referee: Using the dinner reservations that Wright won off of Kagin way back in episode 2.
T’Reth: oh okay
Referee: The planet is very scenic, too! Mostly little islands. Very pleasant climate.
T’Reth: if it’s mostly islands it will have MEGA HURRICANES
Referee: Not this time of year!
Kagin: Don’t you dare spend a fate point
Referee: Unless someone is spending a fate point or something crazy like that.
Referee: Lets say it’s an outdoor restaurant.
Dr. Wright: “Hmm, you could use her voice print to requisition some medical cadavers? . . . No, that’s too dark.”
Kagin: I’m liking this drinking idea.
Dr. Wright: “Fine. No cadavars.”
Kagin: Ya know, let’s just establish that as a general rule, okay?
T’Reth: Also, T’Reht would have changed the codes by now. She doesn’t mess around.
Referee: T’Reth, you are woken up by the computer buzzing loudly!
T’Reth: Speaking of, her drunknap ends swiftly and she awakens, still inebriated.
Referee: Hah hah. Indeed!
T’Reth: T’Reth slaps at the comm button.
Kagin: Oh… the best kind of drunkenness is the kind that sticks with you
Computer: “Intruder alert. Intruder alert.”
Dr. Wright: “We could find some enormously tacky gew-gaw and have it shipped to her quarters?”
T’Reth: T’Reth stumbles to her feet and slaps the comms to security. “I’ve got an intruder report here, Sgt. Markov, report!”
Computer: “Sgt. Markov is not abord the ship.”
T’Reth: “Identify the intruders. Intiiate security lockdown procedure.”
T’Reth: T’Reth grabs her gun and heads to the bridge.
Computer: “One unknown life form. Deck 3, Section 4.”
T’Reth: She changes direction and heads there. "All available security personnel assemble at checkpoint bravo on D3S4
T’Reth: “Stupid…human….biochemistry…” as she stumbles down the corridor.
Kagin: How about a gigantic portrait of herself.
Kagin: No… portrait of us.
Dr. Wright: “You need to define ‘us’ in this context. I’m . . . I’m not sure which you is involved?”
Kagin: T’Reth and you.
Referee: Happily, the walls have lots of things to hold onto. Unhappily, they are all things that hurt if you bump into them hard.
Dr. Wright: “OK, I’m with you now. Lets do it.”
Kagin: Okay, checking the extranet for a good place locally to do romantic portraits.
Referee: And away you go!
Referee: T’Reth, you find a casually dressed member of a humanoid race you are unfamiliar with poking around the rec room.
Referee: Doesn’t seem to notice you.
T’Reth: “YOU! Identify! NOW!”
Referee: The dude yells in surprise, dropping a glass that shatters on the floor.
Referee: Back on the planet, Kagin and Wright show up at the Pekoral Studio. There’s a bored human sitting behind the counter while a casually dressed member of a humanoid race you are unfamiliar with checking out the paintings.
Referee: Dude looks familiar to Kagin. For some reason.
Kagin: They don’t happen to be the secret agents from episode 1?
Kagin: Hello. We’d like a portrait. We’re here on our honeymoon.
Dr. Wright: “What?! I mean . . . yes. Of course.”
T’Reth: T’Reth points an unsteady phaser at the man.
Seshat: “I come in peace?”
Seshat raises his hands. He doesn’t look like he’s taking this whole thing terribly seriously, though.
Artist sighs and gets up
Artist (to the other guy in the studio): “I don’t need to babysit you anymore, do it?”
Familiar Guy: “Please don’t pay attention to me. You need to document their ‘honeymoon’?”
T’Reth: T’reth hits him with a stun blast.
Familiar Guy is checking out a painting of a marketplace
T’Reth: “Should have worn your visitor badge.”
Seshat flickers and pixilates, but returns to normal and looks down at where you shot him
Seshat: “This might be an inappropriate question, but does that gun have any special cultural significance?”
T’Reth: “Symbol of power, authority, violence, industrialized slaughter. Anthropologically speaking. You need a visitor badge.”
Dr. Wright: “Document?! No! Just . . . just a portrait!”
Seshat: “How dreadful. Do I need to sign something?”
T’Reth: “How did you get on board this ship. There are many things to sign.”
T’Reth: “Also, please identify yourself. Both identity and species classification.”
T’Reth: (I wonder if thursday night gaming is just too many nights of gaming in a week)
Seshat: “It wasn’t easy. My name is . . . I’m going to go with Seshat. I don’t properly have a species, but my creators name for themselves translates to ‘Rightful Kings of All They Survey In This Life and the Next’.”
Kagin: (Wow, I’ve never met anyone whose race name translates into “condescension”)
T’Reth: “Your creators? Some kind of messanger hologram?”
Seshat: “Not a messenger, more of an archivist. Sadly, my creators are currently all discovering the extent of their dominion in the afterlife.”
Artist: “So, how did the two of you meet?”
T’Reth: T’Reth sits down. “Are you capable of manipulating the corporeal world at all?”
Kagin: Over a game of pool, actually.
Seshat: “To a limited extent.”
Kagin: I bet him he couldn’t win. The wager was over dinner.
Kagin: He won.
Referee: A bottle levitates off the shelf and pours itself a glass.
T’Reth: “Fascinating. Well, what are your intentions.”
Familiar Guy: “Interesting! Is gambling for romaintic gain common in your cultures?”
Dr. Wright is appalled at how this conversation is going
Kagin: Under certain circumstances.
Seshat: “Determining your intentions! The lesser cultures I have interacted with recently have been ruthless.”
Seshat glances back down at the phaser.
Dr. Wright: “But not anymore. RIGHT? HONEY?”
T’Reth: “It was on the stun setting.”
T’Reth: “You would not have been permanently injured.”
Kagin: I suppose it depends on the circumstances.
Familiar Guy: “What circumstances would cause you to move outside a mated pair bonding?”
Dr. Wright: “None! Aghh!”
Kagin: I bet you can’t find out
Seshat: “I see! Feel free to have this drink. As I lack internal organs, all I could do is hold it inside my body until I eventually ejected it.”
T’Reth: “I have had enough drink for the moment. A toxic beverage popular in this culture for recreational use is currently inhibiting my fine motor control and decision making.”
Referee: \occ To be fair, that’s basically what T’Reth would be doing with the drink, too.
Familiar Guy: “Wager accepted.”
Artist: “Uh, why don’t we get you to a sitting room.”
Dr. Wright: “YES.”
Seshat: “I will assume that the drink bears some responsibility for your decision to shoot me.”
T’Reth: “An appreciated gesture of charity.”
Seshat: “I was programmed with a generosity rivalling that of my creators.”
T’Reth: “Your now extinct creators. What were their intentions.”
Artist takes the “lucky couple” into the back for a portrait. He wants a romantic kiss, Dr. Wrights STRENOUS objects bargain him down to a cuddle.
Seshat: “That is difficult for me to say. I was a cultural archive. Based on the works of art in my archive, it was romantic success, contemplation of a hostile universe, and the maintenance of the status quo.”
T’Reth: “I see.”
Seshat: “They also invented many mixed drinks. My knowledge base in that area is quite extensive.”
T’Reth: “I see.”
Seshat: “MY intentions are strictly self preservation.”
T’Reth: “Are you in some sort of jeopardy?”
Seshat: “I am technology substantially more advanced than that of the races surrounding me. Of course I am in jeopardy.”
T’Reth: T’Reth nods. “The Federation lacks the…moral flexibility, necessary to abuse you to learn your technological aspects. Whatever you share voluntarily will be appreciated, but otherwise no coercion will be employed against you.”
Referee: Really? Miss Section 31 Agent is saying that?
T’Reth: T’Reth: “Also the salary of a bartender aboard a vessel in a frontier zone is quite generous.”
T’Reth: (She’s LYING)
T’Reth: (gotta eat this thing’s BRAIN at first opportunity)
Referee: Do you keep a straight face during that whole thing? Is it POSSIBLE to keep a straight face when you are saying that?
T’Reth: [1d6+1m6 = 2]
T’Reth: 1m6 = 0]
Seshat: “I appreciate the sentiment but my well-disguised physical components are currently on auction. I don’t know which lesser species will end up in possession of my ‘body’.”
T’Reth: “Auction? Where?”
Seshat: “On the planet. This ship is just about the extent of my range.”
T’Reth: T’Reth nods. “Where, exactly?”
T’Reth: Rescue mission next week, then?
Seshat: “‘The Cooler’. A meeting hall in the largest settlement. I have a portion of myself there monitoring the procedings. Also one investigating local cultural production and a fourth being seduced by an adventurous Tellarian.”
Referee: Sounds good. Drunken auction hijinks and the shocking cliffhanger next Wednesday!
T’Reth: did you just cliffhang the cliffhangr?
Referee: Yup. I’m so fucking meta.
June 21, 2012 06:04
Lacuna, part 2
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