Several bots and people have been murdered. All of the bots’ brains have been damaged beyond repair, and none of the clones of the victims remember who killed them. So what do you do when you have several unsolved murders that may or may not be connected? Call out the Troubleshooters and turn the whole thing into an exiting new Reality Vidshow, of course! So join us every week on PBEM Network as we try to solve:
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Dean-O says from within the closet, “I can say that if anything exploded in here, anyone in here with it would probably hear it. Good thinking Aken-R!”
Howard-R, somehow completely ignoring the fact that a fellow citizen has just collapsed for no apparent reason right beside him, says “Very well, let’s go to lunch,” and starts typing into his PDC while everyone else is looking at the collapsed form of Eula-R.
Mr. Sock says, “Uh, oh my, she appears to have gotten overexcited again and fainted, poor thing, I think we should call a medbot for her, in fact I’ll do that now.” Phil-R says (and does), “Phi-R whips out his PDC and begins tapping furiously upon it.”
Aken-R stops in his tracks when he sees Eula-R motionless on the floor. “You know,” he says, “last time when I came out of the supply closet, I thought Eula was dead, Phil was on the floor next to her, and she revived. This time, I come out of the supply closet, thinking Eula is okay, and she appears to have expired, and Phil is standing next to her.” He then visibly has an idea. “Could it be that the supply closet gives me the super power to turn people on and off? Phil!” he hollers, trying to keep his excitement in check. “I am going into the supply closet, and when I come out, Eula-R had better be revived again!” And he runs back to where he came from.
Isaac-O exclaims at Phil-R, “Stand back from sweet Eula-R you hideous freak!” He crouches down to check Eula-R for life signs while continuing, “Maybe there’s some less harmful treason you could be getting on with in the supply closet with all the other traitors!” He then speaks to Eula-R, “Come on Eula, come towards the light, think of the fluffy wuffy rumtum tigger bots!”
Suddenly, Bill-B’s grinning face appears on the room’s wall-mounted monitor.
“Hey, hey, hey, team! We’ve noticed that Isaac-O claims to have solved the mystery! So it looks like it’s time for…“
A great fanfare issues from all the speakers in the room.
“Deeeeebrrrrriefing!!! So report just as quick as you can to Briefing Room 42Q in Troubleshooter HQ. Hurry now, the quicker you get here, the BIGGER THE PRIIIIZZEEEEESSS!!!!“
The fanfare reaches a climax and then fades away as Bill-B’s face fades out.
This concludes this episode of The Bot Murders. Tune in next time for Episode 4: Debriefing.
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Monday.
Yes, that’s right, folks. I’m wrapping it up. After 2 years, I’m moving it on to debriefing.
Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.
Aken-R walks into the supply closet, leaving the door open and begins to look around.
Dean-O chuckles, “Hehehe… jiggers…,” and follows Aken-R into the closet.
Isaac-O looks at Dean-O and opens his mouth to say something, but just rolls his eyes at the ceiling instead. He addresses Howard-R and Phil-R, though the latter’s attention is being rather forcefully diverted elsewhere, “Speaking as the only ORANGE that isn’t the team leader. I’d appreciate it if you all addressed me as Sir when you are making any comment or statement that is meant for my hearing. As there has been some recent excitement due to me solving the crime I’ll overlook it in the case of everyone who is with me in reporting immediately to debriefing that the murders were committed by agents of the secret society the Frankenstien Destroyers. Everyone else is clearly a traitor and deserves whatever punishment Friend Computer see’s fit to apply. So who’s coming with me?”
Mr. Sock yelps, “Uh what? N-n-no it wasn’t me I found it over there I swear by dear FC that I did. Please do get a hold of yourself friend, I understand you are distressed but you are blindly accusing the wrong fellow. I am certain it was the dastardly handy work of that commie mutant traitor, he must have used some sort of mutant power.”
Eula-R moves her face closer to Phil-R’s face and hisses, “Don’t tell me I’m blindly accusing, you little…” She breaks off and pulls back slightly to get a better look at his face, “What… What are you…” She says softly and then suddenly goes limp and falls to the floor, eyes open and staring into nothingness.
Just as Eula-R falls, Aken-R shouts “BOOM!” suddenly from inside the closet, making everyone jump. He sticks his head out of the door and asks, “Did you hear that, team mates?”, and goes back inside the closet, closing the door this time. There is another shouted “BOOM!” and “Can you hear me now?” from inside the closet. He walks back out of the closet and explains, “Friend Eula did not report hearing anything from the supply closet at the time of Larry’s mishap. I wanted to find out if an explosive nail gun could have been used. You know, reproduce the circumstances of the crime, and all that.“
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Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Monday.
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“Well!” says Aken-R, “But. No Lunch? But. Well!” He sits down in the chair of cubicle 2961-C (next to Eula-R’s cubicle). “I guess I better sit down here then, before I drop dead from hunger. I’ll just go read the case file without the benefit of thought-sustaining calories.” He begins reading his PDC, his lips moving as he reads.
Howard-R says “Having lunch is a good idea. People who are hungry don’t think as well. We can go over the evidence over lunch. Issac can tell us all about how he got so knowledgeable about bots. I would like a brochure as well.”
Mr. Sock says, “Well now that is done with, I sure could use some cold fun right about now.” Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R smiles and pats at his belly.”
Dean-O says, “This mission has a very high priority, and shouldn’t be delayed for any reason. Remember that, Aken-R? You can get something from a vendbot if we pass one. I like vendbots…”
Issac-O shrugs his shoulders and says, “How many Jumbo Jackobot Jiggers of evidence will you need before you can see the obvious truth!? Quentin-R used his filthy unregistered mutant powers to attempt to cover up the evidence of the Frankie’s brutal murders and decommissioning of valuable bot resources. Who else would attempt to frame Copore Metal for a crime? Every cycle that ticks away lets the foul conspiracy eat away at the very fibre of Alpha Complex’s loyal servants. Anyone who isn’t for immediate reporting of the conclusive findings is obviously in league with the traitors who have already infiltrated the team.” He pauses to survey the team, fingering the hygiene kit’s strap. “I can see that the proper maintenance of hygiene isn’t yet at the top of some people’s agenda!” he says meaningfully.
Aken-R finishes reading and exclaims, “Sweet source code! This is not a murder, it is slaughter! Look at all these people! If we don’t eat until we solve the case, we’d better learn to be like friend Isaac, and start eating door knobs.” He looks up at Isaac-O, “Could you help friend Eula with her PDC? She seems to be having a problem with it.” He then mumbles something that sounds like “nailgun” and walks back to the supply closet.
Eula-R becomes increasingly distressed as she keeps poking at her PDC, ignoring the team for the moment. Her mumbles are becoming more audible, “Gone… gone… all gone… why is it all gone? Gone!” She stands up, points at Phil-R and advances on him like a… well, like a very angry little old lady. “You! What did you do to it!? Everything’s gone! You must’ve messed with it! I didn’t think of it before, but I still had it when that rude clone ran away! He couldn’t have taken it! You must’ve taken it while I was… when I fainted!” She grabs him by the front of his jumpsuit, “WHAT… DID… YOU… DO?!!”
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Wednesday.
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Isaac-O says, “Well team leader? We appear to have completed our mission. All that remains to do is report formally to Friend Computer. Then perhaps we might get some sustenance.”
Howard-R says to Dean-O, “Perhaps, we also may be looking at a secret society war between PURGE and Frankenstein Destroyers against Corpore Metal. This could get even more nasty.” He turns to Issac saying “We have no evidence that it is the Frankenstein Destroyers framing Corpore Metal. It could be Corpore Metal framing Frankenstein Destroyer or it could be a secret society war or it could be PURGE framing either or both. It is far too early to end the investigation” He then pulls out his PDC and begins to type something into it.
Dean-O says, “Lunch sounds great, Aken-R, but we have to solve the case first. We don’t have enough evidence to support one theory over another yet. I know! We can eat lunch at debriefing!” He then puts away his pamphlet and magnifying glass, pulls out his PDC and begins to type something into it.
Aken-R pouts, “But we need time to read the case file anyway, and gather our thoughts on what we have learned so far. We might as well be chewing as we’re doing that. My stomach is growling, and I feel a bit weak in the head and faint in the knees…“
Isaac-O looks frustrated, “Must I remind you of my superior processing capacity? Was it not I who continuously pointed out the obvious treason of Quentin-R? See where that reduntant software coding went! Just do exactly what I say and you can have all the glory!”
Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R walks over to Eula-R and hands her the scorched PDC with a smile.” Mr. Sock says, “Here it is! I found it over where that traitor ran off, I’m afraid it seems to have been damaged in the fire however.”
Isaac-O asks Eula-R, “Oh can I have one of those brouchures too please?”
Eula-R says distractedly as she takes the PDC and starts to look at it, “Oh, yes, citizen, I have plenty.” She hands Isaac-O a brouchure, and frowns at her PDC, pushing buttons with a look of increasing desperation. She mumbles slightly under her breath.
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Friday.
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Howard-R leaves the ashes and walks back over to where the rest of the team stands in front of the supply closet. Phil-R follows quietly behind him.
Howard-R says, “Damn, that is weird. Corpore Metal and Frankenstein Destroyers hate each others guts. PURGE and Frankenstein Destroyers makes sense but how the hell does Corpore Metal get involved. The only thing I can think of is PURGE planting Corpore Metal signs to confuse everyone.”
Dean-O says, “The victims are a mix of humans and bots. Maybe we’re looking for two killers – one Corpore Metal and one Frankenstein Destroyer?”
Issac-O announces while slapping his forehead, “It’s so obvious! Even the completely obsolete Mailatron 200 could see it, and it only has 6×6 pixels of ocular sensitivity! The Filthy Frankies are trying to frame Corpore Metal for their foul deeds! We must inform Friend Computer at once and recommend that he makes further steps to proscribe the activities of the Frankenstein Destroyers! We have ALL the evidence we need and the crime is solved!”
Aken-R says, “There are so many factors to think about! I don’t know where to begin.” Then his face brightens. “Let’s go get some lunch. While we eat, we can read the new information on our PDCs, and talk things over.” He walks over to Eula-R, and asks, “Citizen! Could you point us to the nearest food ingestion facility? And would you care to join us? I’d really like to see some more pictures of your pets!” He turns to Dean-O. “I take it that is okay with you, team leader? And I suppose we can also meet up with the proper crime lab authorities to give them the evidence we collected so far?” Then he carefully folds his piece of jagged plastic into the piece of paper and puts into the Indestructable Loyalty Transcripts Recorder. “There,” he says, “that will remain untampered with,” and he shoots a dirty look at Isaac-O.
Eula-R waves Aken-R off, “No, thank you, young clone. I’ve already taken my mandatory lunch break, and I still have a lot to do here. There’s a RED clearance cafeteria up on the 10th floor. You fellas run along. I’ll be right here if you have any more questions… Oh, and if you really are interested in catbots, why don’t you take this sales brochure I just happen to have with me. If you see anything you like, just let me know, and I’ll see if maybe I can get you a discount… I have a friend that works at the outlet, you know…” She hands Aken-R a small pamphlet with pictures of cute, cuddly catbots on the front and smiles warmly.
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Monday.
...Double Your Life Span, Double Your Clones, With Double-Vat, Double-Vat Clones! Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.
Aken-R walks out of the closet, carrying a small sheet of paper. Inside the paper is some dust, a fossilized wad of gum, a paperclip and a jagged piece of plastic. He looks down on it and frowns.
Isaac-O follows him out of the closet, saying, “I’m just trying to see if it’s hygienic! You can’t be too careful with Hygiene!” He smiles winningly at Aken-R.
Aken-R says, “It’s another piece of plastic, and it has a symbol on it,” and puts his head so close to it that his nose almost touches it. He continues, “It’s the Corpore Metal sign. But that does not make sense! Friend Isaac, what did you say the gang sign on your piece of plastic was? Frankenstein Destroyers, was it?” He looks up at a security camera before continuing, “Corpore Metal members want to exterminate human citizens to make room for robots. Frankenstein Destroyers want to remove robots to make room for humans. They are enemies. Why would we find evidence of malfeasance from both of them? Why, indeed?” He frowns, squints, and puts a finger along his nose in something that resembles a thoughtful look.
Dean-O seems to still be reading his pamphlet.
Meanwhile, Howard-R absently takes the offered pistol from Phil-R and continues searching the ashes.
Mr Sock asks, “So did you find anything in those ashes over there, friend troubleshooter?”
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Thursday.
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Dean-O puts his PDC away, puts on the armband, and starts to read through the pamphlet.
Howard-R says, “Sure, citizen. I am not worried about getting my hands dirty.” He goes back around the corner, and starts searching the ashes. Turning to the a camera, he says, “The idea that PURGE is involved worries me. They are both bomb planting terrorists and people who want to destroy friend computer. Such insane wickedness is chilling. PURGE is one of the worst secret societies in Alpha Complex. The one thing we have in our favor is that they are usually insane and can make mistakes normal clones don’t make.” He then shouts back around the corner to Aken-R, “Yes, and he once said that it is better to lock up ten innocent clones then to allow a guilty clone go free for one guilty clone can wreck havoc in society. There is truly wisdom in his sayings.”
Phil-R’s be-socked hand pops up over the walls of the cubicles around the corner. It is holding a slightly scorched PDC. Mr. Sock’s voice says, “Here it is I found it! It’s a little scorched it seems but it appears to be functioning” The hand moves around the cubicles, heading back toward the rest of the team. It stops suddenly just before arriving at where Howard-R is searching the ashes. Phil-R says (and does, though only Howard-R can see him), “Upon noticing Howard-R, Phil lowers the PDC he was holding aloft and greets Howard-R warmly.” Mr. Sock says, “Hello friend troubleshooter, look what I found!” He says (and does), “Phil-R holds out the scorched PDC for Howard to glance at and then pulls his hand back. With his other empty hand Phil-R swings his hand up and points towards the ceiling with his index finger.” Mr. Sock says, “Oh yes, I nearly forgot I still have your blaster don’t I? Hmm yes give me a moment to retrieve it, it checked out fine.” He says (and does), “Phil-R rummages through his things and produces a RED blaster for Howard-R which he holds out towards Howard-R grip first.”
Isaac-O steps fully into the closet, and is out of sight of the cameras.
Aken-R makes a ring with his thumb and forefinger and looks through the ring as he steps into the closet after Isaac-O. From inside, he can be heard saying, “It focuses your attention, you know,” he says, “it’s another thing I learned from Holm-S.” There is a pause and then he says, “Are you using the magnifying glass, team leader? You are the only one with clearance to use it.” There’s another slight pause, and then, “Oh, and also, do you think the rest of us could get access to the case file?“
Dean-O says, “Great idea!” He then pulls his PDC back out, presses a few buttons, and then puts it away again. Each of the rest of the team’s PDCs beep with an incoming message shortly thereafter. He then pulls out the GREEN Magnifying Glass and starts using it to read his pamphlet.
Aken-R’s voice once again can be heard saying, “Did you subject your find to fingerprint detection, friend Isaac? And what is that thing, anyway? Any suggestions?” He then starts humming some tune, but it suddenly breaks off in a gasp, the sound of tearing paper, then, “Lookit, here’s another one of those doohickeys.“
[OOG: To clarify who’s where:
(The smoking boot is the ashes, not an actual smoking boot)]
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Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Saturday.
...not only a member of the highly treasonous Frankenstein Destroyers Society, but also a PURGE terrorist. He is to be considered armed and highly dangerous. If you see this traitor, contact Internal Security immediately. A 2000 credit reward is being offered for his arrest or termination. Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.
“Uh, Phil?” Aken-R says to Phil-R. “Or should I say Mr. Sock? Next ingestion break you’ll have to tell us more about how this puppeteering setup works. Anyway, when you find Eula’s PDC, can you check and see what happened to that alarm? It looks like she keeled over because she was too late with her medication. Was the alarm failure an accident, or diabolical sabotage?“
Phil-R stands, letting out an exasperated sigh, and Mr Sock says, “Well I don’t see it anywhere here. You know, I bet that commie mutant traitor Quentin-R snatched it before he ran off! It is probably around the corner where he ran!” Phil-R then says (and does), “Phil-R then dashes quickly from the area in the direction Quentin-R ran.” He disappears around the corner.
Aken-R then moves back over the the group near the supply closet. “You’re right, Howard,” he says to Howard-R. “Can you go look through the ashes? You may very well find the clue that cracks the case.“
Howard-R says to Isaac-O, “Not altogether unexpected as smashing bots is what they do after all. Good work, citizen. We are starting to see the outline of the conspiracy. Hopefully we can use this to find more evidence. I suspect that this conspiracy is large and well organized. We must find out right away for Friend Computer. We might want to hunt up an INFRARED janitor or something. The core of Alpha Complex society.” He looks toward the nearest security camera and continues, “I recommend all our INFRARED viewers out there to try the new Likerish Flavored Cold Fun.”
Dean-O says, “Hey, a clue! Great! Lets examine the closet for more clues!”
Aken-R then says to Isaac-O, “What’d you find? And remember what Holm-S used to say: ‘The bad thing about jumping to conclusions is not that you might accuse an innocent citizen – members of secret societies are always guilty. The bad thing is that you might let the actual culprit walk away.’ That was in “Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There!” Boy, what a sharp thinker!“
Isaac-O continues holding up the small object in his sleeve, basking in the praise of his teammates.
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Wednesday.
Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.
Dean-O says to Aken-R, “Hey, I loved those! Weren’t they great? It was all based on a true story too, which is great. I wanna get a hat like his, one day.” He then checks his PDC and starts typing on it, presumably filling out his mutant registration form as ordered.
Howard-R replies also, “We ARE making progress. We just found out that Quentin was a traitor. He may have been involved in these murders or at least his secret society may have been involved. They may have inserted him into our team for that very reason. Some spy from a secret society that is involved may well make the investigation very difficult. On the other hand you are right in saying we have to get moving. We should search the entire area of the fire to see if we can find anything in the ashes. Sometimes you can find clues even then. For example things that are made of alloys that don’t melt in a small fire. We can send those to Intsec. We can dust the walls for fingerprints and send them to Intsec so they can find out if someone who wasn’t supposed to be here was here. Other people on the team might have other suggestions that we should use.”
Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R stands up and straightens his jumpsuit. He cocks his head to one side and says.” Mr. Sock says, “Your PDC? Hmm perhaps it fell out of your pocket when you slumped to the floor so dramatically, here let me help you look for it.” He continues (and continues doing), “Phil-R walks around the area looking at the ground curiously.”
Eula-R says, “Dropped it? I suppose… It has my medication scheduler on it, so I need it.” She brightens, “Actually the alarm should be going off soon, as it’s almost time for one of my medications, so we should know pretty soon exactly where it is.”
Aken-R looks uncomprehendingly at Eula-R being up and apparently ok and moves back over to her. “Eula! Respected senior citizen!” he says, shaking her hand vigorously. “We thought we had lost you! Um, can you tell us what you saw? What happened?” To the others he says, “Let’s listen carefully. We may pick up something similar in her and Larry’s stories. If not, something may come up when we visit the other victims. Can you share the case file with our PDCs, team leader?“
Eula-R tries to pull her hand back, looking annoyed, “Lost me? What do you mean? I was right here. What do you think, that I just dropped dead for no good reason? I’m not THAT old, junior. I just fainted, ok? I do that sometimes. As soon as I find my PDC, I’ll be taking something for it.”
Isaac-O looks inside the supply closet, and immediately picks something up off the floor and holds it up, using his jumpsuit sleeve as a kind of ‘glove’ so he doesn’t touch it directly. It is a small object of some sort. It’s difficult to tell what it is from any distance, though. “Look at this!” he exclaims, “It looks like the culprit left a clue! Clearly the work of those vicious bot haters the Frankenstein Destroyers!”
We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…
Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Friday.
