The Bot Murders

Turn 119

July 18, 2008 21:54

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 119: Speech! Speech!

Dean-O exclaims happily, “Great! I love equipment inspections! But you’ll have to come closer than that to inspect my equipment! Won’t that be fun? Eh? Eh!? I know I’m looking forward to it!”

Heartily sick of Quentin-R’s antics Issac-O turns to the assembled team. “Citizens you have all just witnessed an act so foul, so vile, that I fully expect Friend Computer to brainscrub us all as a result. Quentin-R has attempted once again to sabotage our mission by disobeying our team leader’s express orders to all assemble here at the supply closet. Further to this he has now disobeyed a direct order from both me and our team leader to submit to a mandatory hygiene inspection, although frankly I don’t think the actual inspection is necessary as a mining bot with no ocular sensors at the bottom of a sump filled with IR slime could see that he is a festering wound on the standards of hygiene I and Friend Computer hold dear.” Issac-O holds up a hand in a stop gesture towards Phil-R. “While I have no problem what-so-ever with submitting to the equipment check you have so thoughtfully scheduled at this time, I feel that the time has come for us to face the sad truth that Quentin is in league with the murderer or murderers and the only way we can move forward is to capture and interrogate him, then terminate him for his disgusting acts of treason. Now are you with me or are you all traitors too?”

Phil-R holds up Mr. Sock as if to speak but stops short and looks at Isaac-O for the duration of his speech with his mouth open, at the end of Isaac’s speech he closes his mouth shut with an audible click of his teeth and then turns his attention to the team leader.

Howard says “Much as I hate to think there is a traitor among the troubleshooters your logic is flawless. No one would flee a mere hygiene inspection, it is merely a poor ruse. He must have realized you figured it out and is fleeing the scene of his treachery. I have just given my pistol for inspection so I can’t shoot him right now but I am with you once you have captured this disgusting traitor. The lengths the traitors behind these murders will go to cover up their conspiracies sickens me. To deliberately fail hygiene inspections so you have an excuse to flee is inexcusable. It is also stupid of a traitor to think he can throw dust in our eyes like that. However, most traitors are stupid otherwise they wouldn’t be traitors. I hope he will confess his crimes before termination but I doubt he will. His kind never does.”

Aken-R is halfway between Eula-R’s cubicle, and the supply closet. Looking back, he spots an opportunity to use his bull horn sees a need for improved team communication. He turns back. “Isaac-O is absolutely correct. Remember what Friend Computer said? Citizen Howard-R was not with us at the time, so I’ll repeat for him what Friend Computer said. Friend Computer said:” Aken-R puts his bullhorn to his mouth and shouts into it, “THIS MISSION HAS A VERY HIGH PRIORITY, AND SHOULD NOT BE DELAYED FOR ANY REASON.” In his normal, loud voice, he resumes, “I guess that means no health and equipment checks right now. Friend Computer said:” Up comes the bullhorn again, “IF A PROBLEM ARISES THAT CAN WAIT UNTIL BRIEFING, BE SURE TO HAVE YOUR LOYALTY OFFICER MAKE A NOTE OF IT.” He continues ‘normally,’ “So I’ll note that we need to do those checks, at our next dinner break maybe? Friend Computer said:” Again with the bullhorn, “NO ONE IS TO LEAVE THE REST OF THE TEAM FOR ANY REASON.” Down comes the bullhorn, “But Quentin is out of earshot, so we can’t remind him that he is wrong.” The bullhorn comes up again, but while his mouth moves, no sound comes out. At the same moment, Dean-O shouts, “NOW LET’S GO AND SOLVE THIS HERE CRIME, SHALL WE? FRIEND COMPUTER SAYS!” in an amazing imitation of Aken-R’s voice. Aken-R turns back towards Dean-O and the supply closet.

At the same moment, Dean-O seems to start looking kind of droopy, the light in the room begins to brighten and dim in a slow strobing effect, Eula-R drops to the floor limply and doesn’t move, and Isaac-O’s eyes begin to dart around as if looking for something.

Just around the corner of the row of cubicles, in the direction that Quentin-R had gone, there is a sudden scream, followed by a WHOOSH, and a thud. Smoke begins to waft toward the ceiling from the spot where the sounds came from, and the smell of burnt soylent fills the area. Then the fire suppression foam shoots into that area (no one in the team is hit with it this time) and the smoke stops.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 29 + 2 (for starting off this wonderfully dramatic series of speeches) = 31 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 59 + 1 ([DFSR]) = 60 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 60 + 1 (good dramatic speech) = 61 PP
  • Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 54 + 1 (good dramatic speech) = 55 PP
  • Open Slot (???): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Tuesday.

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