“A Shelyn Priest and an Erastil Priest walks into the bar.” Scarlet babbles on while sipping her wine.

The disappointed Carson listens to the rambles of the intoxicated duchess. Drained and barely keeping his eyes open, he patiently waits for the duchess to finish her joke only so she can butcher it when she giggles after each sentence.

“The Erastil Priest asks the Shelyn Priest ‘Have you ever tried a …’ ” Scarlet says barely suppressing her giggles.

After filling up the decanter twice and eight Elixirs of Love later she is still semi-cognitive and shows no signs of the charm effect of the Elixirs of Love.

Carson contemplates, “Astonishing… I have never seen anything like it. She is able to out-drink any hardcore military men I ever met. Well, there goes this year salary… or the next… I can always give up food – who needs to eat anyways.”

“Wait!! Wait here is the punch line…” She cries. Her face flushes red and tears roll down her cheeks right before she falls out of her seat laughing hysterically.
Yet, without warning her heart races and she begins to hyperventilate. In an effort to get up, she rubs her clammy palms against the chair for support and struggles to lift herself up.

Carson watches with concern. “Your grace, you don’t look well.”

“Oh my Goddess, what is happening to me?” She says breathing heavily while fluttering her eyelashes at Carson.

“Oh yes – It’s finally working. She’s falling for me!”

THUMP

Scarlet swoons, lying on the ground beside the table.

“Or not.”

Panic written all over his face, he rushes out of his seat to attend to the duchess.

“Oh dear, what I have done! This was not the evening I was expecting.” He utters shaking his head in disappointment.

“Your grace… your grace… wake up”, He urges while coaxing her cheeks.

Unable to tell if she’s alive, he presses his right ear over Scarlet’s lips to listen to the sound of her breathing. Immense sweat gushes down his face and drips onto Scarlet’s lips and eyelids causing her to awake.

“Thank the heavens – she’s alive!!!”

“Whaaa …”, Scarlet mutters unable to get the words out of her mouth.

“Shhh…” He says pressing his stubby sweaty fingers on Scarlet’s lips. “Do not speak my darling. Let me take you to a bed.” He lifts her onto her feet and steadies her while leading her to her chamber. He glances sideways ensuring that the guards he bribed are not around.