What a boring mess my sister got me into! First she sends me to some run down slums of Romania and then she has me chasing dead leads. I mean the house was empty. At least that’s what my friends thought. I knew they were there. They were watching us. I could feel the eyes crawling down every inch of my skin. I barely made it out. I dove through the window to be greeted by our lovely purple caddie and its driver. Looks like the party was about to continue somewhere else. We hope into the car and the two violators of our clan left to meet their fates. So brave of them. I hope Sis listens to me this time. If only I could be there to watch them squirm. Oh well time to get some party favors and tracking.
We make it to an airport. It looks to be abandoned. I leave to explore. All is quiet. I make my way about hoping the others let me have my peace. Nope, they followed and Pimp Daddy Purps came through chasing our target who slammed a door in my face. That jerk! He’s gonna get it good. After I recover from the blow I head downstairs to see the rest of my buds wailing away on him. So I decided I wanted to try my hand on life size vamp voodoo dolls. Well his body didn’t like that because he fell to the floor and after a question or two passed out. Too bad he was gonna be fun. The others searched the place some more and Raves made contact with his buds. We listened to him try to talk his way through a set of lies. It was working till they said some weird phrase. It sounded familiar. I could hear Sis yelling in my head as if she was standing next to me. I remembered her reading it out loud once. “Nothing is bred that is weaker than man,” she said. It was like she was controlling my lips. Oh well must be that weird twin mind meld crap everyone talks about. I heard Niko’s voice quoting the line simultaneously. The person on the other side of the radio said he was leaving and said the guy was on his own. Well that sucks. Another dead end. Day was coming soon. We better hide soon. I hoped in the caddie and waited while Raves and Niko worked on some gadget thingy. I think they were making an iPod app or something. It better be fun. I am tired of all this waiting around and stuff. So they come back and say they are gonna track the guy when he wakes up. I guess that works. I sat in the car and tried to find something to do. It was so boring waiting all day. I was like ZOMG can’t we hurry this up or something?
Finally night fell upon us and the guy started heading away. We decided to trail him until he caught onto us and jumped out of his car. Everyone chased him down and they subdued him. My friends are like freakin’ fast. It took me like ten days. I guess its all the partyin’ maybe I need to hit the gym. Oh well I look hot and I know it. I get there and they are asking the guy a bunch of questions. He isn’t answering so they start beating him again. That’s cool I guess, but it aint workin. So I run back to the car to get some favors. The ho driver opens the back and I get the goods. By that time everyone comes back with the guys and we get him in the car. I start drugging him after he’s not answering. It works I guess he wasn’t used to the stuff. He starts singin like Kate Perry. Before long we find the location of base of the queen bitch. Looks like I will be seeing you soon Uncle. First though we decide to get some snacks and head to meet some human Niko knows. I guess it is important. The ring binds them I guess. With their powers combined maybe they can summon and earth protecting super entity. I guess not though. All the guy wanted was some stupid book in Berlin. Long story short we make our way to Berlin and Niko decides to smoke into the fancy shmancy art musuem and steals the book. We just chill outside in a van and light some up. Soon enough he hands me the book and says to meet him when I call. So I head to a club and pick up a buddy. We became friends and then he became my meal. I decided to go “die Applebees”. I got most of the way through my maze on the kids menu, but then Niko started bugging me. So I sent him a picture of the book with my maze to show my progress. I guess that freaked him out. I think he thought I was gonna draw in it. So I hopped on my new moped thanks to my new former friend and rode to the airport. I handed off the book and the guy didn’t look to happy. He chewed out Niko and kicked us off his plane. Oh well. At least he shared some info on the evil bitch lady. We will be visiting her soon I hope.
Image from Target.