Personal Log – Doctor Zoe Monroe:
We all stood there with tears in our eyes as we took Samuel down off the spit and lowered him to the ground. I wish that I was able to tell him that everything would be okay, that we could get him the help that he needed to make everything all right again. But this was impossible, he was gone. Right now I want to hold him and just cry, but that was not possible. We all just stared at his smoldering body in silence and each of us struggled privately trying to figure out what we should do next.
Part of me wanted to find whoever had done this and make them pay, while another part of me wanted to run in terror before the same thing happened to me or anyone else. We all realized that we needed help. However, we had no cell reception in this part of the woods. As a group we thought it best to stay together and head back to where we had parked. If we still couldn’t use our phones there, we always could use the CB’s emergency channel to call for help.
Suddenly a burning pain erupted in my thigh. I glanced down and saw a primitive looking arrow protruding out from it. I fell to the ground in agony, then I felt a pair of strong hands carefully take hold of me and haul me into a nearby hedge. It was Virgil and we both tried to take cover there as best as we could. Then one-by-one we all were struck by one single arrow each, Virgil was shot through his bicep, Marisa through her calf and Eliza through her shoulder.
I handed Virgil my night-vision goggles and I used my full spectrum HD Camcorder to see if we could spot our assailant. Virgil spotted him croutched nearby. I saw the figure stand up and I yelled for Marisa to fire in that direction. It looked like she hit him and yet his stance did not change nor did he even bother to retrieve the weapons he had hung up on a tree branch. I was starting to get a very bad feeling about what was happening.
A booming voice spoke to us, “I am Wodin and you are trespassers here!”
Suddenly my mind went racing back, not to what I learned in college, but rather to my somewhat unusual childhood hobby of studying mythology. Hey, what can I say, I’ve always been a geek. “Wodin” or in the Old English “Wōden” and the Old High German “Wôdan” – is one of the many alternate guises used by Odin the All-Father, chief divinity of the Norse pantheon, the foremost of the Æsir and the ruler of Asgard. This particular Avatar of Odin frequently appeared on Wednesdays in wooded areas on Midgard or as most people know it as Earth.
Today was a Wednesday, he was claiming to be Wodin and something primal within me was telling me that this was all true. I carefully closed my lab coat to cover the tee-shirt that I was wearing which read: “I used to be a DRUID …but I got excommunicated” just in case he might take offense to it. Again he spoke in his supernaturally, booming voice, “I will give you mortals a head start, it will be more sporting to offer you at least that much”. Okay, now if no one else believed him, at least I did.
Thinking quickly I said, “Oh mighty Wodin, we meant no offense. We are also hunters and we have been on the trail of a legendary beast, called a Lizard man. This creature has been encroaching here on your hunting grounds and we would continue to pursue it in your name, if you will allow it”.
I didn’t anticipate what happened next, he moved in closer to where we all lay and spoke to us in a normal tone of voice. “Lizardmen are a thing of myth, you have been pursing me all along. I challenge thee mortal hunters, to find and bring to me a dragon in one month’s time”.
I was a bit confused, but felt it needed asking, “Alive or dead, mighty Wodin?”
To which he replied, “It matters not, nonetheless you have one month from today to deliver it to me or I will come hunting for thee. Now thou had best see about the poison which even now fills thy vains”.
With than the forest path of traps that had been laid for us was cleared away and we stumbled back to the bus in the hope’s that Joleen the PA, could drive us to the local hospital in time.
As I look back I have decided to rehash some of what has happened. Simply to expel it form my mind. The death of a comrade and a near poisoning by arrows were the first steps into this crazy adventure that seems to only spin faster. Each episode it contorts more and more wildly out of control. This was the beginning of things I am just starting to understand. The world is bigger than I ever thought possible. I am discovering each and every creature that looms in the darkness… Till I have more memories to give to paper.
Things got worse. That is to say ‘whatever killed and ate our friend is still here.’ Our first inkling that we were still in danger was when Zoey took a fucking [i]arrow[/i]. Not a modern looking crossbow thing, either. An honest to god, someone hand crafted this thing.
Don’t worry, though. I wasn’t jealous. Everyone got a souvenir. I’ve still got my arrow in the production van, if you ever want to take a look at it. Whoever shot us had to be a better marksman than even myself, and I was a trained sniper. I say that because it takes a special kind of person to be able to tag someone with an arrow that looked like it had been carved out of a tree rather than processed like normal.
Between Virgil and Zoey, they were able to spot the guy. Though they could only give me a general direction I shot him. ( Like I said, sniper. ) The only problem? He didn’t seem to realize I’d shot him.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a rifle. It was a pistol. But it’s not like I carry a derringer or something. My gun is the civilian equivalent of my old sidearm. It can do some damage, especially since the guy wasn’t –that- far away. He didn’t care much that a solid bullet had hit him. In fact, he seemed almost casual about what he was doing.
I could see why, after all. We were all pretty incapacitated, and the guy was wearing Kevlar or something. At least, that’s what I thought.
When the guy came out where we could all see him? Turns out he was wearing a loin cloth. Not a bullet-proof vest. Not even a shirt. A freaking –loin cloth.- I knew I’d hit him, but I couldn’t see any sort of injury on him.
“What the actual fuck is going on?” Surprisingly enough, he answered. His answer was jibberish, but it was an answer nonetheless. He was a Wodin. Now, I’m fairly certain he stole that from Pokemon, but I wasn’t going to argue the point. The guy was too good a shot to give him too much lip, and I was pretty much stuck on the ground. On the plus side, Zoey knew what he was talking about, so I let her do the talking while I kept my sights trained on him ( for all the good it did the first time. )
He was acting like he was on some kind of drug trip, and Zoey was apparently humoring him. ‘Mighty Wodin’ and ‘no offense’ and [i]what.[/i]
“Give us a head start?” Bull – fucking – shit. I wasn’t going to run, I was going to empty every last bullet in to this guy’s face. Maybe yank that arrow out of my leg and stab him with it. That’d be deliciously ironic, even if I didn’t shoot him with his own arrow.
Fortunately, Zoey has the people skills I don’t. I’m a metal singer. I’m good at screaming, loudly, and angrily. Zoey’s good at talking down angry psychotics with homemade weaponry. I was feeling a bit lightheaded at the time, but I remember vaguely wondering if Virgil felt any sort of penis envy for the guy who could apparently whittle stone axes and bow-and-arrows.
Apparently, though ‘talking down’ meant ‘accepting a quest to hunt down a dragon.’ With a side helping of ‘hope you have a good insurance plan, because you’ve been poisoned.’
Just to note: We don’t. But the company took care of it anyways, so they couldn’t be held liable for something legalese. On the plus side, I got upgraded to legit security. No more lifting things ( unless they really need me for it. ) We couldn’t tell anyone about Sam, or crazy-Pokeman, but after all was said and we were able to hobble along… we decided to go hunting.
Virgil’s Itemized Expense List
S03E01 (Part 2):
1. Hospital Care for a Shoulder Wound, Anti-Venom, and Anti-Coagulants (See Hospital Bill)
After being shot with arrows by
Woden a crazy man in the woods, the team was rushed to the nearest hospital by the intern (reminder: get his or her name at some point). The arrows were coated in a poison, so the doctors had to administer an anti-coagulant and formulate an anti-venom. They were successful though we were still under treat of death from Woden in a month if we did not soon hunt a dragon. I also had an arrow very cleanly removed from my shoulder. I would not be surprised if the doctors at this hospital have seen such injuries before as Woden seemed a bit bow-happy. The rest of the crew similarly had arrows removed or open wounds tended.