Name-Variable Keeper of Opportune Leftovers
Age: 23 Height: 6’0 Weight: 130
Attributes and Specialties
Muscle: 1 – Slap Around
Moves: 4 – Contortionism
Cool: 4 – Lying
Brains: 4 – Pop Culture Lore
Goal: Soulless Science
Current Equipment: Proton Pack, Ecto Goggles, Rolling Ghost Trap
Max Q. Stickyfingers was once a spindly boy, cheerful and sociable as all get-out. He was seven years old when his parents moved to Sacramento chasing work in the field of philosophy; they were completely unsuccessful, and came to the realization that they could not support a child on their income. Instead of making sensible financial choices and doing their best to make ends meet, they dumped Max at his grandmother’s house and gallivanted off to the other side of the country.
After their disappearance, there was a marked change in his demeanor. He became mopey and withdrawn, and soon found himself a target for bullies. One day, the meanest and most persistent bully of all had Max cornered with a rusty drain pipe, when Max warned him that his dad was a serial killer and he knew where he lived. Right before the bully brought it down upon his head, he detailed his father’s first gruesome kill: he slit the victim’s stomach clean open, ripped out the intestines, and draped them across the ceiling fan. If viewed from the bottom up, the intestines spelled out a message: “You’re Next.” Horrified, the bully began to cry and left Max alone. It was a blatant falsehood, of course, but Max discovered that day that he had a remarkable gift for lying to his peers. The next day, he told everyone at school that his parents had legally changed his name to Friedrich, and it stuck.
Over the course of the next four years, Max became something of a legend at Blossom Hills Elementary School. Every single person there knew he was a liar, but it didn’t stop him from finding investors for his new Hydraulic Hamster Scooter, or leading a group of third graders on a tour of the Haunted Cave (his grandmother’s bathroom with the lights off – $5 per visitor). By the age of 16, Max had enough money to move out, declaring himself a legally emancipated minor and getting his G.E.D. With life going his way, he experienced a sudden return to the cheer from so many years ago. Making a name for himself in Los Angeles, he preoccupied himself with the social/art scene more than any sort of productive life, making more friends than money and bouncing from house to house when the landlords started to breathe down his neck. His fly-by-night lifestyle lasted for about five years before he returned to Sacramento, burned out and looking for a place to rest his head for a while.
Soon after returning from Los Angeles, Max received a note in the mail informing him that his parents were killed in a water skiing accident and he was the sole inheritor of their fortune. And quite a fortune it was. Max had no idea how his parents came across so much money as struggling academics with masters’ degrees in philosophy, but he realized as he stared at that check full of zeroes that he would never have to work again. His five years of ceaseless hedonism, however, had since seared the urge out of him to party hard and never look back, and he found himself wanting to live a substantial life. Pondering all this while walking to the bank, he bumped into an odd sad-looking man on the sidewalk. Not missing an opportunity to strike up a conversation with a down-on-his-luck soul, Max learned of an unusual organization called the Ghostbusters. Trying to avoid sounding ignorant, Max bluffed flawlessly and convinced the stranger that he knew all sorts of things about apparitions and ghosties and the like, and was in fact in Sacramento looking for a vacancy at their Ghostbusting headquarters. The man, struck by what seemed like incredible serendipity, invited him down to his station in Old Sac, and Max soon became part of this big happy Sacramento Ghostbusting family.
Not before, however, purchasing a Jaguar to drive to work every day. First impressions are so important.
- Known Aliases: Friedrich, Napoleon, Maximillian, Charlemagne, Clemence
- Likes: Taking food home, strobe lights, small rooms (they make him feel cozy)
- Dislikes: Buffets (they don’t let you take food home), exercise, poor social choices
- Favorite Music: Nick Cave, The Pixies, Neil Young, Kate Bush, Sonic Youth, Nine Inch Nails, Van Morrison
- Favorite Movies: Old school horror (The Omen, The Haunting), Stephen King adaptations (Misery, The Shining, Christine), French “newer-wave” (he made that term up) (Diva, Betty Blue)
- Favorite Quote: “You shit in your shoes and then you fuck them!”
- Fun Fact: The only living person who knows his true first name is his great aunt; she is currently in a Vancouver rest home, suffering from dementia.
- Fun Fact 2: Max crashed the after-party for the USA women’s diving team during the 1984 Summer Olympics. The silver medalist, Kelly McCormick, gave him her phone number, but he never called her.