Welcome to the Field Projects Division.
You were personally recommended by your previous supervisor. Well done. Your career is about to take an exciting turn.
Field operatives are in high-demand, lately. There is an increasingly high turnover. Management has selected you, and several others, for this highly-desirable opportunity.
As a member of the FPD, you will be responsible for . . . acquisitions.
You will participate in the latest product testing.
You will locate and retrieve samples for our research department.
You will be given a field manual and increased to pay grade 6. Congratulations.
The procedure you have just undergone was not a physical. We lied. We apologize for the inconvenience. You have been augmented with your first enhancement. It will aid you in your work.
We hope that you enjoy your new features. If you work hard, there is room for advancement in the future. Please remember that you are now a company asset – the standard terms and conditions apply.
Good luck. We expect great things from you.
The Cheiron Group