You know it’s bad when you are actually looking forward to writing in your personal journal. This is one of the only breaks I’ve had in the last week to do anything that’s not just more paperwork. It doesn’t end and I have more to do after I finish writing this.. so I’m gonna make this take as long as possible

for the next few pages everything is written in extremely large letters with a very fancy and over dramatic font style

I haven’t got to shoot my gun in a week. What if I get back into combat and my gun is jammed right away. Or worse, it doesn’t work at all? I am going to have to shoot it. Maybe if I ask gunn, Colonel, he’ll let me. Just once or twice. Hell, maybe we could just have a shooting competition.. no they’d probably say that’s a waste of ammo. Screw them though, it’s a raise in morale…. wait. If we did have a shooting competition I’d have to do paperwork to get the go ahead.. and then more paper work to get the ammo and weapons.. then even more to get a spot set up. Screw it I’m going to bed.

Wait I have to do the rest of my paper work……

So Jebs morale has soared while mine is taking a dirt nap or it was taking a dirt nap. The space station we were on is gone. Obliterated by the enemy. They blew it up just because we were there. We have been running hiding and trying to give them room and they keep on coming. So im taking a note from the XO’s playbook. See those guys over there yea fuck them. Im tired of running and frankly so is the rest of the fleet. Recruitment is up alot. Infact the marine contengent is up to 100% and the rest of the crew aside from the pilots are nearing 100% as well.

Speaking of the Marines. Two of the most unlikley people are now literally officers incharge of the marine contengent. The former gunny is now a colonel and he is not happy about it. The former wildmen Garrett and Valentine are now officers. Yes the people that were literally shit shoveler one and shit shoveler two are now captain valintine and lieutenant garrett. Yes my two wayward children are now second and third in command of the Marine contengent on my ship. May God have mercy on all of our souls.

We have decided to do something retarded or just plain crazy. We are going to destroy the fractal planet eating shipyard capable of making 8,000+ ships in a month. Yes we are going to take our 2 ships and blow up a planet. how you might ask? Well first we are going to get though its 8 mile think hull. Somehow. Then we are going to get inside and deploy 4 groups 300 strong compaines of Marines (code named operation Thermopoli) Some how. then they are going to deploy “warp bombs” (that we have no idea on how to make). Then we are going to detonate them and get out of the blast radius before the entire solar system explodes (somehow). So this is just like the old 2d show where the gnomes have a plan, underpants, ?, Profit.

The good news is we are no longer running we are standing and fighting. If humaninty is go go out of the univerese and extinct race with only our bones to show for it then the univerese will remember our names to quote lieutenant garrett I want those fuckers to hold thier cubs at night and cry our our names in fear. Hello Enemy and your masters too chicken shit to come out and face us on the battle field. Humans with a tactical quotent of zero are about to teach you a very hard and valuable lession. We are most dangerous when we have nothing to lose. Humans Fuck Yea.

Captain’s log Day 346

We have been out in space for almost a year and on our first intentional trip to earth in that year my Xo and two grunts decide to remodel the coast of Texas. Admittedly there is some credit to the argument that they did not know that would happen, but still now if we take back the planet all of the fucking maps have to be updated. Not only that but this group is beginning to obtain a reputation of insanity or heroics or something. Not entirely sure if that’s a good thing or not.

Once I was done yelling a Jeb for blowing up a not so small portion of the planet I allowed him to give his report. Something about the events he describes concerns me. One set of aliens blows up the planet. The other comes back and starts picking the bones. Building clones of people from a single organ and collecting brains in jars and sticking needles in their heads. I wonder why?

Why would any alien race do such a thing. I get if it was to be sadistic and cruel but then why do it in a secret facility? Why not out in the open or in outer space? And why take over a Xeno-176 facility? Better question how did they take over that facility? I thought the Xenos we master computer geeks and stuff. How did these aliens get in and start using the facility and how long were they down there. The computer and the interface were useless on the floating life boat they were in. Even Bernie cannot access it. He said something to the effect that the computers and the interface do not do well with 50 cal bullets flying though them. I think he was being a smart ass.

I’m going to have Jeb debrief Bernie later. I’m not taking that drug and having the little Grey guy crawl around in my brain. Not that he would be evil about it or anything I just don’t want to do it. That’s what Xo’s are for. Besides I have other issues I have to contend with right now. The new ship was named today honestly not sure what it was called in the end. Relieved some of the pressure of all of the over crowding but not all. Had to leave the repair ship and the Nimitz behind near earth to finish the installation of the jump drive.

Got a report today from the stellar cartography ship about gravametric disturbances near a star The system is kinda active with planets and asteroid belts. I sent 2 j birds to investigate discreetly Intentionally did not send the doctor his body guards or the Xo wanted a report not an exploded planet or something. Reports came back that it was a space station and a big one. Able to hold and estimated 25,000 people more or less. With Jeb back on the Nimitz guarding the installation of the new jump core and the fleet hidden in a nebula I decided to go to the station and check it out.

I took two j birds and the appropriate number of Marine escorts. After boarding the station I was met by security forces and the stations “owner”. Not sure if he built it but he does own it. He explained the rules thinking that I was the leader of a small mercenary group. I had a meal with him and explained what what fleet we represent. Turns out he heard of us from the Dragon the ship we joined up with and from the Golandorians. He agreed to allow the fleet to dock and for some of our people to get some shore leave.

He has a few rules and the majority make perfect sense. One NO functional weapons or powered armor allowed. I thought about corporal Garret and his 50 cal walking the docks or the marketplace. The thought made me laugh then horrified me to think of him actually doing it. So if anyone gets clearance to come on the station Marines will be set up to check for weapons. Anyone caught will not be granted shore leave and anyone in the military caught will be court martial ed. Figured I can have them join the twins in waste reclamation.

Two all goods must be paid for using universal credits supplied by him of course. Not a bad deal really for him. He controls all currency in the place and I suspect his forces are there to ensure that the patrons are not out doing major side deals. Plus given some of the disparaging things he has to say about the black market I’m guessing he stamps down on the fairly hard. Now I have 73 thousand people and we have no formal economy. So I had to come up with a deal. I traded him most of the jump drives for a hefty sum of cash. Enough to grant every person an allowance of 5000 credits.

I was surprised to find a lot of human goods available. Turns out that the word is out on our planets and that they are being picked clean by raiders and scavengers. Found weapons, gear, but most of all books and media. I even put out the word that humans might be visiting the station for a while and that they scavengers might want to have as many videos games, media, movies, and books as they can find as people will pay a high price for them. Entertainment has been in short supply.

Once the new ship is back in the fleet I will give out the allowances and start a lottery to grant people shore leave. I figure Ill allow everyone the same chance including officers and civilians. Ill just be sure to set a limit on how long and how many people per day. Plus of course keeping families together. The fleet will take up a position near the station and people can ferry over on shuttles and the like. Might let a cargo ship or two dock to allow for the trading of larger goods.

It will be good to relax for once. Still not sure if I should let Jeb and his team on the station at the same time. Don’t want the damn thing to blow up after all

RECORD BEGINS

Stardate; 1304m11… ah hell it’s Tuesday. Don’t ask what month, hell if I know. It’s bad enough that I’m snowed under in paperwork keeping this ‘fleet’ together, but I have to be the COs brains, balls, eyes, and ears too. So get this; those sorry hwoon dahn houzi de pigu refugees we rescued from Earth, EARTH!, turn out to be some kind of Alien quisling mind-controlling sleeper agents or something. Its all like a bad plot out of an old 2D bad sci-fi serial, skin-job murderous replicant toasters or something. And the Captain won’t let me start registering people in a database or anything, arrgh!

I tell you what, I don’t get paid enough. The crew is good though, don’t know what I’d do without ‘em, even if I’m like to strangle ‘em half the time, especially that sha gwa of doctor; ’can I bring this flesh eating zombie on your ship?’ NO! The Doc’s Marine body guards are good troops, a bit wild, but the best troops always are. Now that the gloves have come off and the bureaucrats have all been blown to hell, us warriors can get down to business. Just can’t let those enlisted boys see me smile, no good for discipline in the ranks.

Gotta keep working on the captain, he’s got to let me start enlisting more personnel into the .mil side of the fleet, we’re running ragged out here. He’s all worried about military tradition and indoctrination and what-not. We don’t got gorram time for that, we’ll hang together or hang separately and that’s that.

Now I’m gonna go get a cigar and go say high to that Donna on the cruise liner, talk some business.

David Valentine

Audio Log

Hi, this is Nurse Reed. Private Valentine expressed how important it is for him to keep up with his Observation Logs, but he is unable to write at the moment so asked for my assistance. I provided him with a voice recorder so he can deliver his report. However; I must remain in the room to assist him in case something happens.

Observation Log 2

David here.. so this is weird. I’ve never had to talk about myself before. Well here goes nothing:

When we returned to the USS Sanctuary from our mission, the Commander was quite infuriated that we didn’t have what he asked for.

Nurse: Wait, you’ve actually talked to the Commander? That’s really impressive!

David: Really?.. Well.. I guess. But it wasn’t so much as talked with him, as I ordered him to give me a more challenging assignment! He was so scared of me that he agreed and gave me another mission.

Nurse: Wow, I didn’t know you were that important. And you’re only a private! Just think what you can become after you go through the ranks.

David: Yeah yeah, anyway the next mission was to go to the facility we got the location of from the AI’s data. We get there and get attacked by some creepy ass aliens. We got out and went back for reinforcements. After a long ass briefing we brought the Sanctuary and a bunch of other ships to fight the aliens. I didn’t do any of the space fighting and just rode in a shuttle onto the station. We worked our way to the CIC and had little problems. When we arrived we found the surviving crew held up in the CIC and after a few moments of talking the 5 minutes until Self Destruct alarm went off.

Nurse: Oh my god! Did you get out?!

David: …Well fuck I hope so, how else would I be laying here on this bed?! Let me finish this report. Where was I.. oh yeah the Self Destruct. So we still need the Element Zero for the fleet and then one of the station workers tells us there is freighters full of them up a few levels just waiting to be jumped to the safe location. So we run up there and see some creepy alien guard and his robot doing creepy alien shit and open fire on them. I caught in the head without him even noticing us and then Dane fire axes the robot into two almost. Conway starts programming the jump coordinates and the whole time the Self Destruct timer is ticking down. We all jump in the Freighter’s cock pits and jump out to god knows where. There’s 10 freighters total and after we jump and get out we notice theres only 9 freighters. Well just great, the one we’re missing is Conway, the Fleet’s ONLY jump master.

Nurse: But Conway was in the medical bay a few days ago getting a check up.. He seemed a little tired but fine other than that.

David: Dammit woman I’m trying to give a report so shut up and let me do it. Jesus… So anyway we’re in some facility and manage to get the power on. Then our Captain infects the AI with a super advanced computer virus.. not sure if that was on purpose or accident. The facility goes dark, but the elevator and everything else works. So we go to the surface and realize: Oh shit, we’re on Earth.

Nurse: Oh I’ve been there before it was bombed, it’s reaaaallly nice. Did you ever go to Hawaii? I went there on my honeymoon before all this..

David: Honeymoon? Are you married?

Nurse: Not anymore, single.

David: Oh really? Well uh.. Observation Log 2, got snuck up on by scavenger, fixed the scavenger’s gun, shot some wanna-be military guy’s head off, got locked in my suit, trained some guys on how to snipe, rode in a car, saved Captain Jeb’s life, rescued Conway, rode in the car again, chased by a giant bear named Bertha, escaped the car melting in plasma, went to a hospital, saw some creepy mutants, got shot at by Dane, picked up by Bertha’s mom or dad?, thrown off the roof, survived and spent the last month in rehab and the medbay. Now Nurse, I have some pain coming from my leg.

Nurse: Here?

David: No, higher.

Nurse: Oh. Oh my.

Log ends

(Player note: This is a verbal recording from a Charisma 2 Marine who runs around in top of the line power armor with the biggest weapons a man in power armor can carry. He also has a huge headache at the time of recording. This is his perception and account of events… not mine.)

VOICE LOG #001 – DANE GARRETT:
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PROCESSING NOTE: Recording contained a large amount of inappropriate language and was cleaned. Original recording was retained in official records. Recording length was maintained with artifical static placed in gaps.
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PROCESSING NOTE: Recording bit rate was changed manually multiple times during recording. Automated processing ignored manual bit rate changes as program settings dictate minimum recording speeds and requirement. If bit rate changes are required, configuration settings must be changed by administrator.
-—————————————-
- BEGIN PLAYBACK -
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Uhh, this is Dane Garrett…

First off, want to apologize to sniper guy for uh.. toasting him a bit. Hes fine, dont worry. And yeah, I know his name damn it, I just have a (STATIC) headache. Apparantly healing in 4 days what a normal guy takes 6 months to recover from leaves you with a hell of a headache. My (STATIC) is also (STATIC) neon… no idea if that is normal…

Ah (STATIC), I dont think I am suppose to be talking about that. (STATIC), I dont think doing this damn diary verbal is going to be any easier than writing it out. (STATIC).

(STATIC)…

Okay, lets see, weve been gone for 2 months or so, give or take a bit. Commander was all pissy, um, wait. How do I erase (STATIC) on this damn thing? I think its this button here…(Clicking sound, no other change).

There, that should, uh… should nothing, dont worry about it. Okay, weve been gone for 2 monthsish. 2 ish months, something like that. Commander was upset that we didnt find Element Zero, apparantly its engine go juice for the big ships. Doc says its liquid chaos that will really (STATIC) an area if its spilled. Commander didnt want to hear that the super computer asteroid of doom didnt have any, so we had to go out again.

Not that I minded, deep space is boring as (STATIC). err, its really boring in deep space.

Sweet (STATIC) this log (STATIC) is utter (STATIC) I cant believe they are making me do this (LONG PERIOD OF STATIC) GOD! Alright, lets back up. (Clicking sound, no other change).

Deep space is boring. So we outfit the destroyer, and go jumping out to Element Zero facility. We get there, and the little gray men are all over the facility. Yeah, the (STATIC) little gray men with big heads. (STATIC) flying saucers and (STATIC). Debris and (STATIC) all over the place, the facility (STATIC) them good.

We drop back, get help, and then take the fight to them (STATIC). We load up a shuttle, and assault the station. Captain Jeb covers us in some of the fighters, sounded pretty damn sweet when the others described it. From my point of view, it was really (STATIC) boring. I sat in a tin can, with a bunch of sweaty boys all pumpin adrenalin, waiting for something to happen.

We get in the facility, I toss some nades, but really dont get to do much. Gunny and his (STATIC) grunts hog all the good parts. We basically get a cake walk from the shuttle to the command center. Killed a few of the little weaklings on the way. Not sure how they destroyed the local security forces, but they did. Uhh….. (long period of silence)… Not much else happened there. I mean, Captain had a dumbass idea, wanted me to run down to the self destruct and try to disarm the damn thing… with 3 (STATIC) minutes to go. (STATIC) THAT! I told him “Yes sir, whateva ya say master!” and started heading towards the shuttle. If he wanted to (STATIC) die, then (STATIC) him. I was (STATIC) out of there. I tried to get a few of the others to come with me, we were (STATIC) gona survive this (STATIC). (Long period of silence)…

Uh, need to (STATIC) erase that last part… (clicking sound, multiple times, no other changes)… Thank god for that erase button. (Clicking sound, no other change)…

So uh, we got in the facility, I was a badass, shot guys up, yada yada. Anyways, we found the FTL cores, and Conway reprogrammed their crates like a champ. But, he wouldnt get in the damn passenger section with me. I was trying to keep his ass alive, and make sure we had the coordinates to where we were going. Instead, he ends up seperated… (STATIC).

So, we end up on earth. 9 out of 10 crates all in 1 place, 1 crate who knows where. We search around, realize were in a nice government facility. Captain infects the facility AI with alien super virus…. (STATIC)… we finally catch a break, and Captain (STATIC) it up. Luckily I had a good amount of equipment. We search around, rescue some people, and end up camping in this place for a month. We train the people, 300+ at this point. Felt like (STATIC) heroes.

While we were (STATIC) around, we got attacked by some military force. I say military cause they had hover tanks and (STATIC). I say some military force because they had the old Mark III EVAs… so nothing to take serious. I ended up blowing up their hover tank (STATIC), Captain went tossing some of my gernades at the rest of em, and sniper (long period of laughter)… freakin sniper blew out his Mark IV computer, so he was just (STATIC) frozen in place on a roof (Laughter). (STATIC) Golden!

I did get shot to hell, I wanted to guarantee my explosives were in the right spot, so I didnt duck below its machine gun. Took a couple rounds in the chest. Doctor was right behind me, so I knew I was good. Wasnt gona pass the chance up to blow myself up a damn military hover. (STATIC) those guys, I got em good.

Finally, we decide to go set a beacon, or get a shuttle, or something besides sit on our asses and play school teacher. We head towards the hospital that has what we need. On the way, we drop by the area that Conway had jumped into. Oh, this (STATIC) is good….

So we find where he landed in skyscraper #1. Were looking around, and find him in skyscraper #2. A chase happens, why you ask, because Conway is (STATIC) insane, or stupid, or (STATIC) both. We get to the roof, where Conway has a zipline. Captain is all excited like a girl… (STATIC)… (Clicking sound, no change). Captain is all excited and wants us to follow. He jumps on the zipline, followed by the scientist and pilot. I know sniper boy was thinking the same thing I was. Those (STATIC) dumbasses! Sniper takes off running, down the stairs, while I just wait for what I know is going to happen. Why do I watch you ask? So I know where the hell they fall so I can tell their loved ones.

Conway reaches the bottom of the line, grabs some bolt cutters as the rest of our team is only halfway…and cuts the (STATIC) line. I swear it on my mothers grave. The team comes swinging back towards our building, and shoots their way past a window. Everonye survives. But holy (STATIC)… leave the heroics to the trained heroes.

You ever see a Dragon… I swear to (Long period of STATIC). Earth is now covered in flying dragons, and giant bears, and (STATIC). When I say giant, i mean throw a bus at you giant. These (STATIC) are (STATIC) awesome. You should of seen me, Im launching heavy warheads, HE grenades from my launcher, even a plasma charge at one point. I decided I was going to become their (STATIC) nightmare. I wanted em to hold their kids, or cubs, or whatever their (STATIC) called and talk about me for generations. I even used my magnetic boots to ride on top of the armored car for clear shots. I was a (STATIC) super hero.

Anyways, I blew up a good chunk of hospital, for the hundreth time wanted a (STATIC) flamethrower, and ended up getting hit by an air conditioner and knocked off a 16 story roof. This is where I gota apologize to sniper boy. I asked if he was 30 feet away from Monster #307, because I couldnt (STATIC) tell. One eye remember, my depth perception is (STATIC) nill. He says “blah blah 30 feet.” Im all, okay good, and start pounding at the beast with my heavy duty grenade launcher. One shot, sniper goes divin, Im thinking “Ah, hes good, look at him get out of the way” and go shootin the rest of the magazine at this Godzilla of a Care Bear. Well, I later learned an unnamed soldier ended up losing all his shield, and getting a bit of shrapnel launched his way by an unnamed grenade launching super soldier.

So uh… if you ever hear this… sorry.

Anyways, enough of this sappy (STATIC). We survived. I owe Snipes a beer or something.

And…. uh… we got back, got the survivors, all is good now….

Oh, and (STATIC) you Commander, we got you not 1 FTL, not 2 FTLs, but enough for half the (STATIC) fleet! So (STATIC) you and your (LONG STATIC) mother you (LONG STATIC). (Clicking sound multiple times, no other changes).

Dont know how far that erased… just come ask me if you got any questions, whoever the (STATIC) is listening and reading this (STATIC). I hope your bored as (STATIC).

Ensign Conway personal log day 36

Today Logan and I went to the cruise ship to blow off some steam. While it did not lessen my responsibilities to the fleet it did help in reliving some of my pent up frustrations. The fact is no one can do what I do in the fleet. Every time we jump i have this horrible feeling that some ship is going to get left behind and thousands of people are going to be lost and as good as dead and it will be my fault. Even now as we ride to a new location to find new FTL cores I realize that if something were to happen to me the fleet and humanity might get screwed.

Log Supplemental. So that was the worst jump and subsequent landing i have ever had the misfortune to experience. The virus that took over the computers of the station reprogrammed the jump coordinates of the crates as well. I managed to reprogram most of them from the data backups in the computer. Fucking Heavy guy nearly did not make it in as he was trying to get me inside before it jumped. OK I get why and all but i was trying to prevent them from showing up God knows where. I managed to almost get it done before the crates jumped. Mine was a few grams off so i ended up somewhere else. Right now all i can do is wait here and hope for rescue and pray the others made it out ok.

Log day unknown. Hard as fuck to tell night from day with all the dust, ash, snow, and storms in the area. I’ve been waiting and had time to scrounge around for supplies. Found mostly bottled water, snacks, but very little good food. I’m sticking to bottled water for now as i have no way of determining if there is a safe water supply. Have determining I’m on earth or what is left of it. Staying near the crash site still seems my best plan for retrieval for now. I have heard things in the night and seen things as well. Frankly starting to wonder if I got hit on the head as there are no real monsters on earth.

Log Unknown: Ran out of food and water today and ventured out to find more. Ran into a fellow survivor. Poor fucker has cracked his nut. Talks about big monsters and insane bug people or people turn into bugs or something. He and I looted an old corner store and risked using his small camping stove to heat some food. He likes my high vantage point and helped me booby trap some of the doors and stair cases. Nice guy aside from being insane.

Log unknown: Lost Sam today. Went down for some more food and water and fucking bertha got him. I unloaded the last of my laser pistol but could not even slow her down. Managed to jump in an old dumpster before she bitch slapped it. Rolled around and was knocked out for i don’t know how long. Sun was down before i woke up. Captain Jeb talked to me for over an hour before i got up and looked around. Sam was dead slammed into the wall. Fucking bitch ate most of him. Doc Smithfield tried to comfort me but he is the only one i have seen for at least a week. Private Valentine thinks i should move as Bertha seems to be hunting in the area. I’m just going to remain at least until morning just to make sure Sam does not want his stove back.

Log Unknown: Fucking wall crawling ceiling hugging mother fuckers almost got me today. Managed to jump down a couple of flights of stairs and spill some kind of oil behind me. Lost them as they were trying to clean off their feet. Going to move with what little supplies I have left. Bigger taller building nearby Logan agrees it looks like the best place to hole up for a while. Captain Jeb is scouting the area and Private Valentine is providing over watch. Not too worried he is a good shot after all.

Log Unknown: Doc tells me he is worried about my nutrition. Have not eaten anything worthwhile sense I kicked in the doors to the new sky scraper. It took me and Private “Rico” Garrett a few hours to fire and secure the escape zip line. Next time i can GTFO before the bitches get me. Logan is right i need to find a pair of bolt cutters to prevent being followed and i need to find some decent rations to get the doctor to shut the hell up.

Log Unknown: Bastards just as I find some decent food and start cooking it they come for me. I managed to get out using the zip line but did not realize that the rest of them were following me. Cut the line and almost killed Captain Jeb and Logan. Guys managed to die hard their way into the building. Lucky for me they seemed very surprised to see me. I tried to warn them about bertha but they did not remember for some reason. Next thing i know we are being chased by her. I woke up in some armored car flipping over while private valentine tried to cover me. Just ended up getting rattled then tossed out after a plasma charge melted bertha and the car. Decided to hide after that. Despite tossing crates at me i was not getting eaten because these guys suddenly forgot how to survive out here.

They drugged me again and we arrived at ground fucking zero for mutants (the hospital) and I was ordered to climb the stairs and program the stupid jump beacon to find the Sanctuary. Captain Jeb had already ordered me months ago to do the calculations for such a jump and I had them on a piece of paper with me, but i don’t remember him being so bossy before. While ascending the hospital we were attacked by more monsters and as a parting gift we left them with plasma grenades, he grenades, claymores and satchel charges. I wondered if that would have an effect on the structural integrity of the building but kept it to myself. The guys have become a lot more opinionated recently.

Once on the roof i set to my job and only vaguely heard the crashing and shouting of combat behind me. Heavy was hit by an air conditioner and tossed off the roof. Private Garrett was tossed off and ended up in a car almost dead. Logan got an ambulance running and flew off the roof waiting for us. The Doc shoved me into the ambulance as Captain Jeb ran balls out at Bertha’s baby daddy and shot it in the face. Then due to all the explosions heavy laid out he had to run and leap off the roof into the ambulance hovering in midair. I can’t tell him but i think he is one crazy son of a bitch.

We picked up the others and the Doc had to work on Valentine for a while before he though his patient was going to live. Four hours later broken battered and beaten we answered the Sanctuary’s call and were retrieved by shuttles. 360 more people joined our ranks along with the survivors from the element zero faculty. Frankly I’m just glad to be back in the fleet again. I don’t know how I would have made it without the help of the other men in my unit.

Uhhh, not really a log person. I mean, the other people that were there can probably give you a better explanation of what happened. Not that I dont know what happened! Just you know… weve got a sciency guy… and you cant tell me the guy with two good eyes and scope who climbed a tree like a freakin monkey cant tell you what happened better than my one-eyed ass.

Freakin hate officers. I get they signed up to be paper pushers “oh humanity is almost completly wiped out… lets all make a journal about it!” Good one brass, great idea. Did you try telling the aliens were sorry? Maybe bake them some cookies and see if we can just laugh it off?

Anyways, because apparantly having the dozens, nay hundreds, of two-eyed people write reports of what happened isnt good enough that we need my eagle sharp eye, here is my report.

DEAR DIARY,

This is, well hell, I dont know what my rank is anymore. My XO gave me a promotion, but no idea if he meant that or not. I dont think he even knows my name, probably just “Doctors Bodyguard #1”. This is Dane, im a Heavy Assault Marine. You tell me where the bad guy is, ill shoot my way, blow my way, crash my way, and beat the ever living snot out of em.

Oh, and if your wondering why all my curse words are so pretty, its so I dont offend any of the delicate flowers who want me to write this report. Apparantly, my mother was suppose to teach me better.

Alright, so get this, humanity is literally (REDACTED). Im on a shuttle, flying back from my recent Doc apointment, and hear over the radio that we just got our planets blown up. The only surviving group is deep in space.

On arrival, I got no gear. Guess that was going to come on shuttle number 2, thats now blown up. Or maybe its still in the spaceport, who knows. I doubt they will be mailing it to me.

We have 1 real doctor, and guess who gets to babysit. Really not the worse gig, hes a smart guy, and has some neat toys. Plus, hes working on figuring out what the hell these aliens are, and I get to be there every step of the way. Why am I interested, because if he figures out what hurts em, I am going to be the first one to shove it up there (REDACTED).

Bodyguard number 2 for the doc is another grunt. I gota say, first impressions, not impressed. So get this, he and I take a stroll around the ship to get familiar, our tour guide being an angry irishman. Were told that our mission is to protect the doctor and medical bay. Seems easy, and there are way worse assignments.

Alarm goes off, were getting attacked, ships are jumping. Were hit, and the crystal things are on our ship. I take door A, bodyguard 2 takes door B. His name is Wayne by the way. Real quiet guy. Anyways, few minutes pass, its boring. Im pushing buttons in my armor, playing with my new machine gun. Finally, combat, people are screaming down the hall from Wayne. I turn and run it over to his side. On the way, I see Wayne hanging in the door taking shots with his BB gun. Okay, whatever, maybe were being rushed and hes using cover. Then I see the Doc, this crazy bastard, run around the corner into danger.

Sweet (REDACTED) (REDACTED) (REDACTED) the only guy I have to protect just ran straight into danger, leaving his bodyguards behind. What does Wayne do, keep shooting down the hall where the Doctor now is. So great, I now have a Doc being attacked from two sides.

I run around the corner, and go after the damn doctor. Hes helping the injured crewman, and these 2 crystal crabmen are at the end of the hall just blasting away. I really just wanted to go play little drummer boy all over their fragile little bodies, but I gota protect the doctor. So I throw myself into danger, playing the hero, getting the aliens attention. I go blasting with my big boy gun, and those alien bastards are ducking and dodging and just falling all overthemselves. Unfortunatly, something was screwed up with my gun, so I barely even nicked one of those bastards. Ill give Wayne credit, he ended up finishing them off as I bravely kept their attention on me. A bit late, as I got a little banged up.

Doc fixed me, and armor got patched, so no biggie. Gota give the doc credit, hes got balls. Great when he comes to save my ass, but a pain when its my job to keep him alive.

Anyways, so I wasnt very impressed with Wayne. Great, he got a couple lucky shots. Guy cant even wear a combat EVA. But he ended up being a pretty good badass himself, ill get to that.

I did get another chance to show off my value. A few of the crystals made it to our engine room. On the way, Wayne, Doc, and I got joined by the angry irishman. Apparantly that guy knows ships really well, some kind of engineer or something. Brags about being a pilot, but I doubt it.

We get to the engine room, and again I get to impress. We setup a sweet ambush, and end up destroying a group of the crystal bastards. Wayne vaporized one with that rifle of his, the angry man blasted with a nice shotgun. And then you had me blasting away full auto with my machine gun. It was damn sweet.

We carried some injured people, some guy fixed the engine, really nothing exciting after we kicked some alien ass.

So, apparantly the ship needs parts, so we pile into a destroyer and go bounding off. We ran into a group of pirates, if you can really call them that. Really a non-event as well, but we ended up saving another 30 humans.. yay. The good part is we found this asteroid. But really, it was some super secret research lab for bio weapons. Damn, talk about some cool technology. Everyone was trying to figure out how to get in, when I finally spoke up.

You see, this lab received instructions from the planet, but it hadnt been receiving them. I brought up the good point of “Hey, lets just find the place on the planet with antennas pointed right at this asteroid…”. This is when the XO said I was promoted, I dont think he expected me to even talk in this meeting. I guess I was suppose to be like a fancy watch on the Doctors arm or something, freakin officers dont know how to use the resources they got. Anyways, when find the place, and off we go.

First off, not the first time ive been on a ruined planet. Nobody else seemed to recognize the signs of looters. Shoes and guns were missing. Guards dont kick their shoes off in a fit of joy, somebody stole em. Besides that, the doctor and angry engineer found some interesting things. Ooh, I did find a neat toy, but nobody would let me take it. A thermal nuke, I mean, how sweet would that be to have. Anyways, cant really blame them, I had nowhere to keep it. And not like i can throw it in the middle of a fight.

So, nightfall. Were hopeing to find these survivors, and continue searching in the morning. Apparantly I was the only one smart enough to bring a flashlight. Again, why do grunts get the reputation of being dumb, when half of our “salvage team” dont even have flashlights. You think the nuked planet is still going to have power and running water? Maybe a little hotel for us to freshen up in?

So, nightfall. ya ya, im rambling, its been an interesting week. Wayne, our tree climbing sniper calls out movement. At this point im up, so i start waking up others. Were trying to figure out if friend or foe, and Wayne is the only one who can see em. Doctor has 1 job, stay in the damn shuttle. Whats he do.. starts screwing around at the firepit. Wayne believes it to be foe, they dont look right. So all us combat trained soldiers set up and wait for it to arrive. We got the cover of night, highly trained people, my ass in a big suit of combat EVA. You ever seen a flashbang? how about a 50ft fireball that can be seen for miles. Oh yeah, he did. Doctor made us our own little sun, let everyone on this side of the planet know where we are. Hundreds of these zombie like things see us, and come charging.

Remeber when I said Wayne wasnt so bad. This guy is a trained spotter, and starts calling in for ship artillary. Explosions, zombies get decimated. I do need to point out, whoever was shooting the artillary needs to get some training. The first couple shots were way off. Ended up just screwing up trees, as we were all preparing to get overrun. Finally they figured out how to aim straight, and the rest is history.

We captured one of the zombies, but learned later the XO didnt like it being on his ship and blew it out an airlock. Kind of messed up, the thing was harmless.

Oh, get this, we get back, with months of research data on these crystal aliens, and decades worth of information on bioweapons. And our commander, not our XO, but our freakin commander tries to destroy it. Thinks its “dangerous”. Oh good, so when our bones are melting and we want to know why and what to do… we can just die in sweet sweet ignorant bliss.

Freakin officers.

I don’t know why I have to do one of these, the human race for the most part is dead why does it matter if I record my log. We got a few new people on the ship, an actual doctor and his two man bodyguard. I was given the job of escorting the two bodyguards around the ship so they knew were everything was so if we got boarded they would know where to go and such. This job kept me from piloting my ship unless we were in battle situation because no one can fly my ship like I can.

So the alarm went off which means I get to pilot since we were in battle stations so I got out of bed and ran to the bridge, they made me turn around go back and put on my uniform like my uniform really helps me with piloting I don’t know what they were thinking. So I get back and get to pilot my ship the crystal ship was moving into an attack pattern and I had to maneuver out of it. I was doing this while the fighters were launched to intercept missiles and such.

One got through and as all the fighters landed I jumped the ship, that one that got through wasn’t a missile but was a boarding ship. Since we weren’t in battle situation anymore I was told to grab the two bodyguards and go to the engineering bay to help there. We took the side doors and took the crystals by surprise and massacred them. The head engineer was hit and wouldn’t live but he has to release the coolant for the engine or my ship would blow up. He was a good man without him I would have lost my ship.

We get a new mission we have to go find element zero to fix the hospital ship’s jump drive. I get to pilot the Nemitz. We meet a unlucky pirate crew that thought they could take me since they have stealth. They got one lucky shot in it hurt the shields, I 180ed this ship around and we blasted the ships, and took the remaining crew as captives. In the aftermath of the battle I saw the doctor was all happy and heard him mention that he took the shot that took them out. I didn’t have the heart to tell the poor guy that sure he pushed the button but Conway had already set the fire control system to auto lock on.

We got onto the secret base, it took our weapons, then it took our armor at which people everybody was weird because I was naked, it’s not my fault that the armor doesn’t allow me to wear my kilt under it. I fast talked the AI into believing me when I said that the human race for the most part is dead and we needed the location of the two element zero places, which she gave me. The group took it farther by trying to get other information from the her. They found out about the blowing up in 3 days because she hasn’t had signal from the plant for so long.

So we had two teams one went with the doctor since he was doing stuff at the asteroid and I flew down a team to the base we believe to be the planet side part of the asteroid. Gunny set up a defensive position while me and the two bodyguards went into the building. We found bodies, with no weapons or shoes. We saw that code books and the likes were taking which I relayed to the Captain. We got out of the building before dark and all camped down there for the night to restart the search in the morning. I played poker with some the guards before I turned in for the night, I got woken by a giant fire ball in the sky and a burning tarp. Next thing I know we are in battle stations because we have things inbound. Flares were popped letting us see that we had about 200+ things to kill. I shot my laser pistol a few times it didn’t really do anything and as I was switching to my plasma pistol the things were orbital dropped and taken care of.

Next morning we had one team searching again and had one team picking up all the dead humans so we could give them a proper burial. We had an engineer this time to power up a computer we found another AI this one a guy I fast talked him into believing that we were the last of the humans. He gave us all the information we needed, he could not stop the bomb that was hardwired in. So we got all the information we could, took the AI, the doctor got all his info, we got a bunch of medicine and such, and I got a great screen saver of the asteroid blowing up.

I’m not sure what time or date it is anymore. All I know is I am alive. I haven’t written a report in a while so I’ll just start from the beginning…

After the transport ship I was on arrived at the location given to us in the USS Sanctuary’s broadcast, we were welcomed with excited and cheerful com chatter. I guess even the smallest amount of hope can help cheer people up. Aboard the ship I was on before the USS Sanctuary there were only 10 people. Myself being the only military personnel. Once aboard the USS Sanctuary and providing my military ID I was immediately provided with armor and weapons. The ship’s commanding officer placed me with another new comer who arrived about the same time I did. He was one-eyed and very talkative. I didn’t mind though, I’d rather have someone to talk to in this massive ship than walk in silence.

After being paired with him we were given an escort from a pilot, Ensign Logan Ian Arthur, who showed us around and even lived with us down in the bunks. I was told he was one of the best pilots in the whole fleet, but was undisciplined. He showed us the layout and I instantly carved it into my brain, just in case. The one-eyed man, Dane Garret, and myself were placed as security at the med bay in case of a hull breach by The Enemy. The first couple of days everything was quiet, but I knew it wouldn’t stay like that for long.

Once the klaxon roared I knew it wasn’t good. I rushed to my locker, suited up and sprinted for the med-bay. Chief Springfield had locked the doors and left for the bridge though. He was a civilian doctor turned military chief, so I wasn’t that surprised. The Chief finally got back to unlock the doors for Dane and myself. We immediately set up defensive positions and waited for breaches, if any.

I heard and felt it even before the com told me. They were just down the hall outside of my door, probably 100 meters away. I was watching three men, two carrying the other, head toward the med-bay when it appeared. A black crystal body jumped around a corner and raised it’s right arm aiming for the three men coming towards me. The crystal shot before I could and hit one of the three men in the back. I shot a three round burst at it and hit, but two of the bullets reflected off it’s crystal shell. The third went threw it’s shell and caused a glowing fluid to start spilling out.

Dane was rushing towards me from behind, getting ready to round the corner and head down the hall. The Chief also ran down the hall towards The Enemy. I remember thinking “That is either one dedicated doctor, or a fool.” Dane in his Mark IV power armor shook the ground as he ran. Must of scared the injured crystal or something because another one showed up to help. The Doc managed to help the injured man that was heading towards the med bay while Dane and myself dealt with the black crystals. Somewhere in the firefight Dane was shot through his chest with one of their projectiles. A big quarter in diameter piece of crystal about a foot long. I was lucky enough to receive no wounds and brought down both crystals.

The ship jumped to FTL travel and we were safe. After the Doc patched up Dane we were told over the com that the engineering bay was under attack and couldn’t get the coolant needed to cool down the engine due to more crystals. By this time Ensign Logan had shown up and was coming with us to the engineering bay. We arrived and had two options. The first was to open the big blast doors and head in that way, or split into 2 groups. We decided on the latter and had myself go up top to help provide sniper cover while the Doc, Dane and Ensign Logan went through a bottom side door. They opened it and apparently were looking at the backs of 6 crystals in the corner shooting at what we could only guess was the ship’s engineers. We all set up and unleashed a fatal surprise attack on them. In the matter of a few seconds all 6 crystals were dead.

After convincing the engineering crew that it was safe we found the Chief Engineer severely wounded. The Doc told us he wouldn’t last more than 5 minutes or so, but he could do what he needed to in that time. We got everyone out of the engine room and the Chief Engineer released the coolant, killing himself but saving the ship. Once peace was restored to the ship we were given the bad news: Our Hospital ship’s FTL drive were damaged in space combat and now was unable to be used. The material needed to even attempt a fix, Element Zero, was mined on the colonies destroyed once The Enemy unleashed it’s attack. Only two places were left that the UNSC knew of. However; both were top secret facilities that were only myths. So we were assigned the Nemitz, a Destroyer class ship, and sent on a mission to find the location of these places. Our only hint was a secret base on an asteroid in another system.

We made it to the asteroid with very little problems, but we were attacked by pirates. They snuck up the Nemitz using a stealth drive and opened fire. Ensign Logan proved to be one of the best pilots and maneuvered us into a lethal spot. The Doc for some reason was operating our ship’s cannon and scored a devastating blow. Before our ship’s captain could even ask for a surrender we received it over coms. We scrapped what we could and took the pirates aboard. They were extremely cooperative and caused no problems. I hope we don’t have to do anything to harm those guys. They had no FTL drive and were trapped in this system without food, probably acted purely on desperation.

We managed to board the asteroid after providing proper clearance, but were shocked at what we found. It wasn’t just a secret base it was THE secret base. An AI was in control of the facility but was very cooperative. It was a top of the line research lab that was looking up the most virulent and deadly diseases towards the human race. After this shock, we found out that if we provided samples of The Enemy this facility could rend tests looking for weaknesses, strengths and even origin. The Doc placed as many samples as he could in the facility. But this is when we found out the bad news: this facility was going to blow up in 3 days. It was a standard dry fire procedure, without contact from anything for 40 days the facility would self-destruct keeping all it’s info a secret.

We did find out that if we could find the relay point we could cancel this self-destruct sequence. Dane managed to figure out that if we looked for any com towers pointing toward the asteroid that should be our first place to look. On a nearby planet we found exactly that and headed down to investigate. Once planet side we followed a missile’s path into the underground facility. After getting far in, we found bodies. Human and crystals. We were shocked at first, but then Dane noticed something else: all the bodies were missing shoes and guns. The first thing you take when scavenging is shoes and guns. We all concluded this place had been looted. We poked around and managed to find a computer, but it was without power. So we headed for the surface where our shuttles were located.

We set up camp and I took post in a tree with my rifle and night vision. Nothing exciting happened, but then almost a mile away I noticed a figure heading towards our camp. I radioed down and they told me to keep watch on it. It was slowly heading towards us, but I couldn’t make out what it could be. All of a sudden a huge flare roared up to my right and blinded me for a bit because I was wearing Nightvision. The Doc had tried to distill some herbs but accidentally cause a fire on the tarps covering our shuttles. I knew this was bad because now everyone in miles knew our position. I looked through my scope again and tried to look for whatever it was I was looking at. After a couple seconds I found it. Then I found the other one. Followed by the other 4. Accompanied by the other 7. Quickly I counted them and got 40. I radioed down again and instantly our chief, Gunny, set up a defensive perimeter.

I was tasked to observe them and keep reporting in. At about 2000 feet Gunny sent up flares and ordered us to open fire. The flares revealed 200+ human-like corpses and once they saw the light they raged and rushed at us running at in-human speed. Bullets seemed to be ineffectual because they continued toward you no matter what. Lasers were even less effective. Radioing up to the Nemitz I requested a surface bombardment. Without training this was my first time, but after 3 tries I got it right and obliterated the horde of what we could only call “zombies”. Unfortunately the blast shook the tree I was in and knocked me out. I didn’t sustain any serious injuries and Doc told me I would be fine.

We left to return to the Nemitz because the forest was now on fire and slept once we got there. The Nemitz fired more shells into the surface to try and put out the fire and succeeded. After waking up we returned to the planet with an engineer and had him power up the computer we found the day before. An AI, different from the one on the asteroid, welcomed us. He told us that he would help us in anyway possible after we explained the situation, but he could not cancel the self-destruct. Saddened, we got all we could from the AI. Emergency medical and vaccines, the data from the asteroid’s research as well as locations to other secret caches and outposts. Along with that we also took the extremely virulent and deadly viruses. I didn’t ask why. We also took the male AI with us.

We collected all the data and supplies and managed to get out of the system only 30 minutes prior to the asteroid’s self-destruct. Upon returning to the USS Sanctuary we were debriefed on what had happened. The commander was confused because we didn’t have the Element Zero. He was also shocked once we revealed the viruses and diseases. However; he was pleased to see the knowledge and tests on the crystals the Doc had run.

I know our next mission is going to be getting that Element Zero, but until then I am in need of some rest.

-David Valentine