I was discovered at the epicenter of the Tungusta blast event by a multi-national expedition early this century. Although I have publicly refused to shed any light on the mysterious events of the region, scientists noted an inordinate number of empty Tequila bottles surrounding me. During the next few decades, I was instrumental in battling legions of Nazi Robots, inventing a now lost anti-gravity device and foiling at least one Martian invasion. After a brief absence from the public eye, I re-emerged in the last two decades of the 20th century to create a handful of works of dubious literature, including an unpublished guide to Lemurian folk dances. My future goals include avoiding haircuts (failed), seeking a sponsor for an Appalachian Trail hike and re-establishing tweed as the pre-ordinate height of fashion.