My life is a vast plane littered with glowing invisible Leprechauns , eight-shot ballistas, endless hordes of faceless scrawny rusty knife wielding Gobbos in wicker armour, the Rod of seven parts, 38 on line goth metal radio stations, spirits that poke at me while I sleep , troglodytes, vampires, and +7 mithril broadswords of frost; all set in a neo-post-industrial steam powered castle with teleportals and rope winch pulley basket systems and weapon racks in every room. There I am an undercover half fey sorcerer / ninja carrying a vorpal dagger which drips with purple Yin poison while riding a flying slug into a roman coliseum to battle a Dire Penguin controlled by a Ghost Emperor, which is actually a time traveling nanobot , battling for domination over a fictional kingdom that exists only in my mind and the minds of those who I can convince that this is just as real as the mouse you are holding.
I’ve been in the game since 88 and it all began when I was 8 I met a Kid called Ben, who introduced me to a game called Tunnels and Trolls.
Tunnels and Trolls is a role-playing game that was first released in 1975. It was designed by Ken St. Andre.
Published by Flying Buffalo, it was developed to be an alternative to Dungeons & Dragons, aimed particularly at solitaire and play-by-mail gameplay. Tunnels and Trolls is a simple game that is rich in detail, easy to play and with a sense of humour. It was one of the very earliest roleplaying games from the late 1970s and was greatly influential on later systems. The game introduced the idea of playing a variety of humans as player characters, using a core character generation system, such that non humans were given greater strength or lower intelligence but still operated as any human in systematic terms. The game also published one of the earliest spell point systems, where magic is powered by mana points rather than memory slots derived from level, as in Dungeons and Dragons. The only polyhedral dice you need to play Tunnels and Trolls are six-sided dice, however you can need quite a lot of them. The phrase “buckets of dice” has often been used to describe how many a high-level campaign requires.
His father – who we called Pip was a professor at the University of Christchurch ( New Zealand ) and he played this game and had taught his son.
Ben and I played this game a lot over that summer and I even played in his fathers game with my characters Rambo I , II and III.
My foolish and reckless play style got me killed often but undaunted I made my own dungeon and killed other peoples characters.
I remember Pips Dungeon had a stone Donut in it that could teleport you or something and there was a group of orcs or something that would shriek PRESS GANG !! And fling gas grenades down the corridor.
This was represented by Pip throwing pens or dice at you and if you diddnt catch them then you CHARACTER diddnt catch the bombs and you were Knocked out – with the resultant and attendant disappearance of all your hard plundered stuff.
It was in that summer of 85 that the Gaming Juggernaut named THE WEZ was born.
Then When I was 12 I could finally understand the Red BOX I got for Xmas when I was 10. Then a teenager sold me all his 1st ed books at the same time 2nd ed came out. So by 13 Im playing a bastard mix of all of the above and did so until 18. Every weekend and holiday … A good 20 hours a week + 15 hours creating adventures
If someone had told me that I would spend countless hours over the next 20 years scribbling into notebooks , rolling dice, making funny voices and would go with out food , sleep and even destroy perfectly good relationships with perfectly proportioned women all for the thrill of helping others follow me through a glowing green portal into an imaginary world populated with fairies, elves and gremlins I would have grabbed them by the arm and said…
“THERE’S A” PORTAL????!!!!!”
I once added up all the time I have spent hunched over books and peering from behind screens and the number of consecutive days that I had spent gaming totaled almost four years…
I rechecked the numbers THAT CANT BE RIGHT Wez said to Wez.
That’s preposterous , astounding and hideous !!!
It just wont do !
Its not enough!
Efforts must be redoubled!